An MFA is a Terminal Degree

Well then...

2008-02-21T19:45:00.000-08:00

I clearly have no excuses for my lack of posting. Being someone who is deep into my tenure track and a now more active filmmaker, I've just been too busy to maintain this blog along with my other blog (which is a public one, in my real name).

So -- no excuses, I've just been busy. I thought of shuttering this blog altogether, but it still gets as many hits as my other blog, just on the strength of the "MFA" in the title. There are a lot of people who come to this blog because they're searching for information on the MFA and whether or not it's a terminal degree. And I'd rather people keep coming here for that, because I'm an unabashed supporter of that idea.

Anyway, things have been going fairly well for me. The film that I was so worried about a while ago did well at festivals. While it didn't play at any of the biggies, it ended up winning several "Best Feature" awards, and it got invited to two pretty high profile fests (not the majors like Sundance, but still, they were significant invitations). The story isn't over for this film -- there are some release possibilities on the horizon, so I'm hopeful that something will happen soon.

I've since made another film, a short. And a second feature is in the planning stages. I'm feeling a little creatively overwhelmed by the new feature -- it's a larger project than my previous one, which is both exhilarating and intimidating...

Anyway, if you came here with opinions, frustrations, or questions about the MFA, fire away. I may not post often, but I'm still here.

Without Apologies

2007-04-04T07:16:00.000-07:00

I'm trying not to feel bad that I don't post on here more often (hence the post title). I'm posting more and more regularly on my blog under my real name, and my film work has kept me increasingly busy (for those of you who remember my angst over all the rejections my film had received, I'll update by saying that it has screened in more than 15 festivals, a few of which were very strong fests, and has won three different "Best Feature" awards).

Anyway, the thing that prompted me to post today was New Kid on the Hallway's revelation that her 3rd year review was unsuccessful, and that she has been given a terminal contract for next year. Sometimes, this field doesn't make much sense.

By "this field," I mean "academia" -- New Kid and I don't share the same field (she's a medieval historian, I believe, and I'm a filmmaker). But since I'm on the tenure track, too, and am very angsty about what I need to do to get tenure (and am on approximately the same point on the tenure journey that she's on), this news hit me hard.

From all appearances, New Kid is a dedicated and thoughtful teacher and scholar who puts much time into both of those activities. And while I don't know her work specifically, from her postings on the subjects, I can tell that she is precisely the kind of person a school ~~would~~ should want working for it.

As I said, sometimes academia doesn't make much sense. This finite tenure clock makes people think and do crazy things (to whit: there's a reason I'm posting this on an anonymous blog). The fact that you have to justify your existence every year in such a bizarre way strikes me as problematic. The idea that you have to publish a book (for most academics, anyway) to get tenure is especially problematic in light of the crisis in academic publishing these days (not to mention how market-driven even academic publishing is; in a sense, the projected financial popularity of a book plays a bigger role in determining someone's tenure than anyone wants to admit).

I don't mean to condemn the entirety of academia here. In fact, the faculty in my department tend to be open minded and considerate (for the most part -- and you know I mean it because I can say whatever I want to on here).

But this kind of thing does give one pause. Here's hoping that New Kid lands on her feet somewhere that makes her very happy.

Starting the spring

2007-01-04T18:03:00.000-08:00

Spring term is starting soon, so I'm already prepping syllabi and starting to think about courses. The thing I love about spring: it's my "light" semester (when I only teach two courses). And before anyone starts complaining about a teacher not wanting to teach, believe me -- that's not me. I quite enjoy teaching. But when I teach only two classes, not only do I also get to do my creative work (which is something that I believe makes me a better teacher), but I also get to spend more quality time with my classes.

I get to spend more time grading (i.e., better critiques of creative work), and I get to spend mroe time prepping (i.e., better prepared and more able to facilitate useful discussions).

So I like the spring. The fall, when I teach three courses, is considerably more hectic (and I cannot for the life of me imagine juggling four or five courses, unless I was teaching multiple sections of the same course).

The other reason I don't like fall as much is that my chair has asked me to teach the intro course for our major. He teaches one section, and up until now, one of our lecturers was teaching the other. The thing is, I'm not opposed to teaching it -- I actually think it would a fun course. And his reasoning makes sense to me (people joining our major, or considering joining it, should be introduced to it by someone who is going to be here long term).

But the fall is already a busy time, and he's also asked me to teach the "capstone" course in the major in the spring. Two new courses in a semester of three. And there's some other personal issue coming this summer that makes the fall a bit more hectic, so between the intro course, the capstone course, and my personal stuff, I'm dreading the fall.

However, the nice thing is that these are good problems to have, it's nice to be trusted with courses that are considered important, and I still enjoy my job.

In creative news, I'm starting work on a short film in the next few weeks, to be shot here and there (not in one concentrated shoot). And I'm beginning the long process of raising money to shoot my next feature. Life continues.

Signs of the Apocalypse?

2006-12-13T09:51:00.000-08:00

I posted my final course grades two days ago, and I haven't had a single complaint, nor even a question directed my way about a borderline B that "should have been A."

Maybe I'm just getting better at communicating my expectations nd my students' status throughout the semester.

End of the Fall

2006-12-11T18:25:00.000-08:00

The fall semester is coming to a close, and though I've enjoyed my classes, I'm definitely ready for a mental break, not to mention the fact that I find it really difficult to get any creative work done when I'm doing class prep every day.

I'm eager to get to work on my next film, a short documentary I've been circling for a while. And now that I've won a small grant to help pay for it, I'm kind of committed. So I need to get started on that (in truth, I HAVE started -- I shot a couple of interviews back in the summer).

In other news, I had an interesting conversation with the Dean of Arts & Sciences today. He doesn't know me (and I know this because I had to reintroduce myself to him), but after we spoke for a bit, he mentioned that he knew I hadn't gotten the sabbatical I applied for, but that I was very close to getting it and that I should definitely apply again. He said that he doesn't remember the ones who "aren't close."

I took this as a positive sign -- the dean, who doesn't really know me, recalled my name from having signed off on the sabbatical committee's recommendations, and he must have thought my proposal had some merit (it did -- but try to get a university committee to pay an artist to work on his or her work; no small task, believe me).

I'm excited about working on this film, even if I won't have a sabbatical to do it. It's a short film, and a documentary to boot, so there's really no marketability here (and it's a self-focused, navel-gazing film, too). In other words, I'm making it for myself, with no commercial agenda. I hope to get it into festivals, but I'm basically trying to make an entertaining film, and I'm not worrying about anything else.

That's kind of refreshing.

Rejection

2006-11-05T18:13:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lack of blogging lately. This semester has been kicking my butt -- between three classes and travel for film festivals and other things, I'm just flat-out exhausted and getting very little work done.

I did make time to apply for summer financial support to work on my next film. Rejected by the University. It's not the rejection itself that bugs me; what bugs me is finding out from a colleague on the committee that, essentially, the committee feels as though this is "just part of your job description" since I teach filmmaking. Now, I can buy that they expect professors to do research/creative activity without extra support. But when they OFFER extra support, specifically for research projects and creative activity, this just smacks of a major double standard that ticks me off. So it's okay to give money to so-called "scholars" who are working on their next books, but not to the filmmaker working on his next film? At the risk of sounding whiny, it's the worst kind of academic elitism. And not for nothing, but it takes a major investment of time and money to make a feature film -- much more than it takes for a book. I'm not saying a film is more valuable than an academic book, but this double standard makes it clear where my "liberal arts" oriented colleagues stand. Not that I know any of the colleagues on this committee. With nearly 1000 faculty at the university (including lecturers and temporary faculty), how could I know all the people I need to know to be taken seriously???

In other news, the film has been doing pretty well, having just played at a semi-major film festival. At the moment, there are no other fests coming up, though I'm waiting to hear from a few. I have finished another script for my next feature, and I have two short documentary projects I'm about to embark upon, if I can pull everything together. So there's no shortage of creative ideas, but a serious shortage of funds and time.

Nevertheless, I'm moving forward with everything. It's nice to have ideas and to feel like I can make them happen, but I admit it would be nice to have a little travel money!

P.S. -- Is anyone still reading this blog? If anyone is still out there, please leave a comment. I'm not in any way pressuring or trying to pull people out of their comfort zones. I'm just really curious if I've lost all my readership after the recent long layoff(s) from blogging.

Needy Students

2006-09-12T11:18:00.000-07:00

do you have needy students? I usually have one or more every semester. They're the kind who need constant handholding and affirmation on every assignment, who NEVER trust their own instincts, who don't want to walk into a class discussion without knowing they are right.

It's maddening and tiring. They're constantly at my door, when I'm trying to prep for my next class or just get some other work done.

Sadly, I see myself in them. I was probably one of these students, driven by a combination of desire to learn, desire to impress, insecurity about my own ability to truly comprehend the material, and a serious jones for positive affirmation. I'm probably still like this even today. When my boss talked to me about potentially moving towards being in charge of our (currently-in-process-of-designing) grad program, my heart leaped like a little child at the affirmation (but not, you know, at the workload).

Teaching vs. Research

2006-09-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

Do you ever question whether or not you should be a teacher? The thing is, I like teaching. I like interacting. I don’t like it on days when it saps all my energy and I feel like I’m boring the hell out of my students. And I hate how nervous I often feel before classes. I don’t understand why I still feel that way. I think it’s insecurity – fear of being found out for an idiot who doesn’t know enough about his field. I don’t think that’s necessarily TRUE, but I have a major inferiority-streak sometimes, especially when I compare myself to other academics. This is possibly/probably because I tended to idolize all my professors and think they knew everything – thus, I expect that, because I don’t know everything, I’m a fraud.

Of course, I know all my professors didn’t really know everything, but that was the sense I had at the time, and it’s hard to get over that.

So on any day when I’m teaching, I’m a little anxious. I don’t see myself as one of those “all I want to do is my research” kind of professors. I actually get a little annoyed at profs at my university who are like that, who eschew the classroom and brag about not having to teach when they have a light schedule or a fellowship that allows them to take a semester or a year away from teaching. I get annoyed by it, but I am also, I confess, occasionally envious. And that feeling makes me question myself a lot.

I admit, I would love to be paid just to make films and write scripts. That’s what I started out wanting to do in the first place. Having my creative work viewed as “research” from the university’s perspective was a great feeling, almost a bonus in my mind when I took this job. It has, however, started to feel like a “right” – and I’m not sure I like that, but then I’m not sure I’m wrong to feel that way.

I’m not at a Research 1 university, by the way. It’s classified as a university with high research activity, so there’s a pretty strong emphasis on research in the tenure process and as a way of increasing the university’s prestige.

Anyway, I’m generally torn back and forth. When I’m teaching three classes in the fall, I find it hard to get much creative work done, much less balance going to film festivals and conferences. In the spring, when I generally teach two classes, I tend to get a little more done on the creative side, but it's still a challenge.

My brother, who is at a R1, wanted to be a researcher and a scholar, but he found quite by surprise, in his T.A. days and post-doc days, that he loved teaching and excelled at it. So he's out there in t-t position at an R1, wondering if that's what he really wants. I guess the grass is always greener... (of course, if I were to finish the story about my brother, I'd have to confess that he doesn't enjoy teaching all that much right now, in part because his major state university students tend to be, according to him, less than interested in their own education. But if I told you that, it wouldn't make it a great story that really added to my theme here...)

Long Time Away

2006-09-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems I took a rather unintentional break fromn this blog, but I am back. I had a lot of stuff going on with the film, I started a public (i.e., "in my own name") blog and had to keep up with that, I was writing a new script, and I had gotten tired of my own festival updates on here.

But I'm back with new posts in part because I can't post about some of this stuff in my public blog.

As for the festival stuff, here's a brief update: the film has been accepted into over 10 fests now, and it has won some Best Feature awards, and it was accepted into one extremely selective festival, about which I'm very excited. So, while it hasn't yet launched a career by connecting me with people wanting to make future films, it has been a success, especially in terms of tenure/my vita. And, of course, the success in terms of making future films is still a possibility that's out there.

And, I've written a script for my next feature -- now all I need is some money to make it happen!

SORRY SORRY SORRY

2006-04-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, I decided to take a break from this blog. The constant rejection from the festivals was getting to me and was no doubt getting boring. I hadn't expected THAT many rejections, to be honest.

So, I started fresh with a new blog, with less complaining, and no regular festival updates. Just happy news of festival acceptances, when they occur. And a few have occurred. Two or three.

Anyway, I don't want to shutter this blog completely, because I like the anonymity and that I can talk about my teaching here. I just don't have much to add here at the moment.

Adding to the Festival Entry List

2006-02-28T12:54:00.000-08:00

Scratching of Gen Art, Crossroads, and Houston Worldfest.

You know, in all honesty, I expected rejection -- it's a quirky film -- but not this MUCH rejection.

The lone acceptance, as of now: COSMOS International

Number of festivals entered: 42

Number of festivals who have rejected the film: 20

Number of festivals who have accepted the film: 1

Number of rejecting-fests who never bothered to tell me we were rejected (i.e., I found out only by NOT getting contacted when others were hearing they were in): 4

List of fests:

Sundance
Slamdance
Cinequest**
SXSW
San Francisco Indie Fest
Syracuse International Film Festival
DC Indie Fest
Durango Independent Film Festival
Beverly Hills Fine Arts Industry Showcase
Tribeca
US Comedy Arts (HBO)
Florida Film Fest
Crossroads (Jackson, MS)
Gen Art (NY)
Ann Arbor Film Festival
NY Underground Film Festival
Atlanta Film Festival
~~Houston Worldfest~~
Los Angeles Film Festival
Seattle International Film Festival
~~MethodFest~~
Palm Beach International Film Festival
~~New Directors/New Films (NY MoMA)~~
Staten Island Film Festival
Brooklyn Underground Film Festival
FilmFest DC
~~Cannes~~
Boston Independent
Dances With Films
~~DIY Film Festival~~
Santa Cruz Film Festival
Seattle True Independent Film Festival
Cosmos Film and Video Festival
deadCenter
Brooklyn Independent Screening Series
Festival Comedia (Toronto)
USA Film Festival
South Regional Indie Gathering Film Festival
Chicago Underground Film Festival
Trenton Film Festival
Jacksonville Film Festival
VisionFest

**Cinequest did reject the film from the main fest, but they extended an invitation to their online festival. I politely declined, after thinking on it for a while, because I didn't want the film to premiere online. Since it's a feature, I didn't think it would be a great way to start off a festival run, and I was concerned about how it might affect distribution deals in the future.

I'll update this post as new results come in and as I enter new fests.

Festivals, by the numbers (REPOST)

2006-02-24T14:10:00.000-08:00

Some more rejections to add, plus the one acceptance. New rejections: New Directors/New Films, MethodFest, and Cannes (rejected in TWO languages). MethodFest actually sent a snail-mail letter, surprising in the digital age (and the first snail mail rejection I've received with this film.

Oh, and New Directors/New Films goes on the wall of shame as the fourth fest who never bothered to officially reject me. In fact, I only found out I wasn't in when they happened to announce their lineup to indie film press. Nice.

The lone acceptance, as of now: COSMOS International

Number of festivals entered: 33

Number of festivals who have rejected the film: 16

Number of festivals who have accepted the film: 1

Number of rejecting-fests who never bothered to tell me we were rejected (i.e., I found out only by NOT getting contacted when others were hearing they were in): 4

List of fests:

Sundance
Slamdance
Cinequest**
SXSW
San Francisco Indie Fest
Syracuse International Film Festival
DC Indie Fest
Durango Independent Film Festival
Beverly Hills Fine Arts Industry Showcase
Tribeca
US Comedy Arts (HBO)
Florida Film Fest
Crossroads (Jackson, MS)
Gen Art (NY)
Ann Arbor Film Festival
~~NY Underground Film Festival~~
Atlanta Film Festival
Houston Worldfest
Los Angeles Film Festival
Seattle International Film Festival
~~MethodFest~~
Palm Beach International Film Festival
~~New Directors/New Films (NY MoMA)~~
Staten Island Film Festival
Brooklyn Underground Film Festival
FilmFest DC
~~Cannes~~
Boston Independent
Dances With Films
~~DIY Film Festival~~
Santa Cruz Film Festival
Seattle True Independent Film Festival
Cosmos Film and Video Festival

**Cinequest did reject the film from the main fest, but they extended an invitation to their online festival. I politely declined, after thinking on it for a while, because I didn't want the film to premiere online. Since it's a feature, I didn't think it would be a great way to start off a festival run, and I was concerned about how it might affect distribution deals in the future.

I'll update this post as new results come in and as I enter new fests.

Pseudonymous Blogging

2006-02-21T14:52:00.000-08:00

I've been blogging under the TerminalMFA pseudonym for a while now (a quick check of my blog just now shows posts going back to October 2004, just after I started my tenure track job). But with my film going out to festivals, and a script about to start making the rounds in Hollywood, I feel the urge to blog more openly in terms of titles, names, specifics.

If you ask me, it's just ego. Nevertheless...

I started up a blog in my own name. Those of you who read this who know who I am IRL, drop me a line at terminalmfa @ yahoo.com (remove spaces), and I'll give you the address.

And yes, I do realize I am probably kidding myself that anyone is looking to make the leap over there.

Caveat: I will keep this blog active. I don't think it will go away completely. I like to have a private space where I can speak my mind without any fear of repercussion.

But I had this deep and burning desire to plaster my face all over my new blog, so...

Good news!

2006-02-20T21:02:00.000-08:00

The film FINALLY got into a small, regional fest. It's a brand new fest, just starting out, but I'm hoping this will be the stepping stone we need to get going with the festival circuit.

Festivals, by the numbers (REPOST)

2006-02-17T19:55:00.000-08:00

I haven't been officially rejected by the Florida Film Festival, but many others have heard of their acceptances and even screening times, so I'm putting two-and-two together...

Number of festivals entered: 33

Number of festivals who have rejected the film: 13

Number of festivals who have accepted the film: 0

Number of rejecting-fests who never bothered to tell me we were rejected (i.e., I found out only by NOT getting contacted when others were hearing they were in): 3

List of fests:

Sundance
Slamdance
Cinequest**
SXSW
San Francisco Indie Fest
Syracuse International Film Festival
DC Indie Fest
Durango Independent Film Festival
Beverly Hills Fine Arts Industry Showcase
Tribeca
US Comedy Arts (HBO)
Florida Film Fest
Crossroads (Jackson, MS)
Gen Art (NY)
Ann Arbor Film Festival
~~NY Underground Film Festival~~
Atlanta Film Festival
Houston Worldfest
Los Angeles Film Festival
Seattle International Film Festival
MethodFest
Palm Beach International Film Festival
New Directors/New Films (NY MoMA)
Staten Island Film Festival
Brooklyn Underground Film Festival
FilmFest DC
Cannes
Boston Independent
Dances With Films
~~DIY Film Festival~~
Santa Cruz Film Festival
Seattle True Independent Film Festival
Cosmos Film and Video Festival

**Cinequest did reject the film from the main fest, but they extended an invitation to their online festival. I politely declined, after thinking on it for a while, because I didn't want the film to premiere online. Since it's a feature, I didn't think it would be a great way to start off a festival run, and I was concerned about how it might affect distribution deals in the future.

I'll update this post as new results come in and as I enter new fests.

agent update

2006-02-15T20:57:00.000-08:00

spoke with agent on the phone this week. he liked my polish, had one or two other small notes. why do they always have MORE notes? like i said, they were minor, but it just delays the process.

he also asked me to come up with loglines for pitching it.

hey, who's the agent, anyway? shouldn't he know the best way to pitch it?

we're going to hit some production companies and actors starting at the end of the month. i'll update as things begin to happen...

Festivals, by the numbers (REPOST)

2006-02-13T06:28:00.000-08:00

Latest rejection is from NY Underground... (and also DIY)...

Number of festivals entered: 33

Number of festivals who have rejected the film: 12

Number of festivals who have accepted the film: 0

Number of rejecting-fests who never bothered to tell me we were rejected (i.e., I found out only by NOT getting contacted when others were hearing they were in): 3

List of fests:

Sundance
Slamdance
Cinequest**
SXSW
San Francisco Indie Fest
Syracuse International Film Festival
DC Indie Fest
Durango Independent Film Festival
Beverly Hills Fine Arts Industry Showcase
Tribeca
~~US Comedy Arts (HBO)~~
Florida Film Fest
Crossroads (Jackson, MS)
Gen Art (NY)
Ann arbor Film Festival
~~NY Underground Film Festival~~
Atlanta Film Festival
Houston Worldfest
Los Angeles Film Festival
Seattle International Film Festival
MethodFest
Palm Beach International Film Festival
New Directors/New Films (NY MoMA)
Staten Island Film Festival
Brooklyn Underground Film Festival
FilmFest DC
Cannes
Boston Independent
Dances With Films
~~DIY Film Festival~~
Santa Cruz Film Festival
Seattle True Independent Film Festival
Cosmos Film and Video Festival

**Cinequest did reject the film from the main fest, but they extended an invitation to their online festival. I politely declined, after thinking on it for a while, because I didn't want the film to premiere online. Since it's a feature, I didn't think it would be a great way to start off a festival run, and I was concerned about how it might affect distribution deals in the future.

I'll update this post as new results come in and as I enter new fests.

Weekend Plans

2006-02-10T07:24:00.000-08:00

My dear old dad turns 60 next week, so we're all travelling to my hometown for a surprise birthday celebration. He apparently has no idea... My mom has arranged flights for me and my family and for my brother and his family, plus friends to pick us up at the (big city) airport. Really looking forward to surprising my dad, and showing him (and other party guests) the tribute video I made...

When my family travels, it's hard to travel light. I have three kids, all under the age of 10. The smallest has yet to reach her second birthday. Getting us all on a plane is no easy task. I don't love air travel -- it's not the flying. It's the logistics. Getting to the airport, getting checked in, getting through security, getting on the plane. I don't like this stuff when it's just me.

Now imagine it with three kids. Whoa. I'm not sure how to occupy their time on a plane. My oldest will probably bring a book or two to read (she'll probably finish both before the flight is done -- [bragging mode] she's the top reader in her grade, according to "Accelerated Reader" points [/bragging mode]).

But the younger two will not be as much fun.

Did I mention we have to drive nearly two hours to get to a major airport out of which we can fly for a reasonable price? If we flew out of the local airport, we'd have to change planes in that city anyway, and THAT'S probably even more of a pain with the kids. At least with this flight, we don't have to change planes, and we'll be there after one two-hour flight.

So, I'll reconnect with the blog next week some time. Maybe I'll have good festival news soon. On the other hand, given the record so far, maybe not.

Writing, Fest Update

2006-02-05T10:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, let me get the Festival Update out of the way first -- no news. Why update then? I don't know -- the waiting is just getting to me.

As for writing, I still haven't started anything new. I still don't have an idea for something new. But on Thursday and Friday, I worked on the agent-requested changes to my script. So that's done. Now, my only concern is that the changes pushed the script to 111 pages (actually about 110.5). Manager told me, before Agent recommended changes, to keep it at 108 pages maximum (because it's a comedy). So I'm not sure if that's going to be a problem. But at least it's done and things can begin happening.

Are You Watching The Office?

2006-02-03T06:55:00.000-08:00

Because you should be. I was very skeptical when NBC announced plans to Americanize the BBC's wonderful short-run show. And I was concerned when I heard rumors that it was one of the most awful pilots people had ever seen.

And in its first (shortened) season, it was so-so. But I like Steve Carrell, whose character was very different from the one played by the brilliant Ricky Gervais in the original. And there aren't many original sitcoms on TV, so I kept watching.

Wow, this show just keeps getting better. Last night's episode as a pinnacle of comedy interlaced with tragic disappointment. Seeing receptionist Pam grapple with her dreams and have them shot down by her fiance... expected, but still sad. But then seeing Pam and Jim actually FIGHT because he's trying to encourage her, to see the look in her eye when he asks her if she wants to be a receptionist forever... wow. And that final moment, when the phone rings, and she does her job and answers it and transfers the call, while Jim casts a glance at her. And then she hangs up and casts one back at him.

The show is very well written, but speaking as someone who has directed actors in a similar type/genre story, the acting talent on this show is priceless.

Representin'

2006-02-01T20:31:00.000-08:00

Or, more to the point, being represented.

I (sort of) have an agent. I say 'sort of' because it's not like we signed anything. But I secured a verbal commitment to send the script out to various companies after I make a few minor changes (I'm almost done with those).

So... weird. I expected this moment to feel very different.

I guess I'm more aware of the nature of the biz then I was years ago when I started this process, so while I am VERY pleased to finally have someone with legit connections working 'in my corner,' I am also acutely aware of how much of a 'first step' in the process this is. I've always HEARD that getting an agent isn't the 'end all/be-all' some people think it is. And while I was nervous, and while I attach a lot to this (emotionally, etc.), I guess I have a much more realistic view than I would have had years ago. (And it's not like anything is official YET anyway)...

I mean, if this were 10 years ago, my wife and I would have gone out to dinner to celebrate this event!

But tonight? Well, my eldest daughter had homework, the kids needed baths, my wife needs to work on the local girl scout council's cookie-sales location-scheduling... LOL, I guess it just felt like a much smaller blip on the radar screen today. Kinda puts things in perspective (in a good way).

I'm very happy about it -- but I know there's still a lot of work to do. I hope that doesn't sound bad to people who are really trying to get an agent. I know I'd probably be one of those people reading this and thinking, "what a jerk -- yeah, I'd say that too if I HAD an agent."

So I don't mean it to sound like it's not a big deal to me. It is. I'm just putting it in proper perspective for myself. I think I'll celebrate when/if I sell, or maybe when some hot actor reads it and loves it ;-)

But last night? I spent the entire evening researching stuff on the internet to execute the notes the agent gave. It all comes down to doing the work, right?

Feeling like the work actually might matter for a change? Well, THAT'S priceless...

Agent News

2006-01-30T13:51:00.000-08:00

A while back, I mentioned that my friend in L.A. was going to take one of my scripts to his agent (and was going to manage me and my work himself).

So, he gave the script to his agent before Christmas. Weeks pass. The man kept not having time to read it. Which is normal in Hollywood. I'm hardly a priority for him. The next thing was that he had a funeral to go to. Promised my friend (his client) that he'd read it when he got back.

Friend called -- he lost the script. You can see where this is leading, right? So friend emails him a new pdf cop, he prints it out, promises to read it this past weekend.

So today, you could say i'm waiting anxiously. I was anxious this morning, before L.A. had even woken up. As the day wore on, to be honest, I kind of forgot.

And then I got a call from my wife -- seems my eldest daughter slipped on the gym floor in school and smacked her head hard enough to knock herself out. Okay, parental freak out. She woke up in the nurse's office, a little freaked herself (she's seven, and obviously justifiably upset at waking up and not remembering falling or anything).

Wife is at the doctor's office with her now -- I just got out of my class and am waiting on a phone call to see if I need to rush over there or if they're on the way home already...

So I'm sitting here trying to decide if I should just head over there, worried I might miss them if they're already headed home...

And THAT'S when my friend calls. I tell him the injury news. He says, "Well, that's your bad news for today. Do you want to hear your good news?"

So, Agent liked the script. Thinks it's very strong, a sellable piece, very timely, very 'now.' He as a few notes, but from what he relayed to my friend, they're not major. We're setting up a phone meeting between all three of us tomorrow, at which time I'm guessing he'll tell me what he thinks, give me his notes, and see if I can execute the notes. Friend tells me that the best-case scenario, what he's hoping for, is that Agent says "if you can execute these notes, I'll take it out to ## people in town."

So, think good thoughts. I need to "give good phone" tomorrow. And I was explicitly told by my friend to be sure not to be a dick when listening to his notes, lest I make both of us look bad. Not that I usually am one or anything, he says. He just wanted to warn me because it's HIS relationship with the agent on the line...

Going to go check on my daughter now. Think good thoughts there too, obviously.

Festivals, by the numbers

2006-01-30T07:50:00.000-08:00

Didn't know I'd be updating this the same day I posted it. US Comedy Arts said 'no thanks' this afternoon....

Number of festivals entered: 33

Number of festivals who have rejected the film: 10

Number of festivals who have accepted the film: 0

Number of rejecting-fests who never bothered to tell me we were rejected (i.e., I found out only by NOT getting contacted when others were hearing they were in): 3

List of fests:

Sundance
Slamdance
Cinequest**
SXSW
San Francisco Indie Fest
Syracuse International Film Festival
DC Indie Fest
Durango Independent Film Festival
Beverly Hills Fine Arts Industry Showcase
Tribeca
~~US Comedy Arts (HBO)~~
Florida Film Fest
Crossroads (Jackson, MS)
Gen Art (NY)
Ann arbor Film Festival
NY Underground Film Festival
Atlanta Film Festival
Houston Worldfest
Los Angeles Film Festival
Seattle International Film Festival
MethodFest
Palm Beach International Film Festival
New Directors/New Films (NY MoMA)
Staten Island Film Festival
Brooklyn Underground Film Festival
FilmFest DC
Cannes
Boston Independent
Dances With Films
DIY Film Festival
Santa Cruz Film Festival
Seattle True Independent Film Festival
Cosmos Film and Video Festival

**Cinequest did reject the film from the main fest, but they extended an invitation to their online festival. I politely declined, after thinking on it for a while, because I didn't want the film to premiere online. Since it's a feature, I didn't think it would be a great way to start off a festival run, and I was concerned about how it might affect distribution deals in the future.

I'll update this post as new results come in and as I enter new fests.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

2006-01-29T12:13:00.000-08:00

Finally getting around to watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith, with Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie, and I can see that it was worth waiting for the DVD (or, perhaps, worth not bothering at all).

This movie is boring the hell out of me (otherwise I wouldn't be blogging about it right now, one hour and ten minutes into it, would I?). The scene at the moment: Brad Pitt is sneaking back into his house, I'm not sure why (to remove evidence? get a weapon? burn all of the things he gave to his wife? that last one is what he told her, but it doesn't seem like that's what he's actually trying to do).

So they're trying to kill each other in the house (shades of ˆThe War of the Roses, but with guns, and significantly less wit).

Problem: I don't give a flying flip about either of these characters. They're like Warner Bros. cartoon characters. They're highly-skilled assassins, but you know, the story didn't actually take any time to make us think of them as real people, instead of movie 'types', before they started going after each other. It's stupid, banal, and pointless.

Watching Brad Pitt brutally kicking his wife on screen -- not really doing anything for me either.

Again, to reiterate, I just don't care. When they get the 'drop' on each other, about to shoot, and Brad acts all 'husbandly' and stops, and then they kiss... it's not because this moment was destined to happen. It's because the movie needs it to happen, or the movie would end. So, even though there's no real attraction between them, they 'throw down' passionately.

I'm still writing because it's still boring. The idea that they would have a passionless marriage until they find out the truth, and would then be so turned on by each other... it's a writer's conceit, an idea that's not actually developed by the writing, the acting, or the directing (which is focused on whizz-bang effects and cool action, and not on character at all).

And if I see Angelina Jolie do one of her "I'm so hot and tough and smart" poses, I think I'll vomit.

SXSW

2006-01-27T14:19:00.000-08:00

SXSW says 'thanks, but no thanks' to my film today.

makes me want to use certain profanities, but i'm refraining...

UPDATE: a couple of hours later, and while i'm still down, i feel better after cooking chocolate chip pancakes for my kids and watching them perform a 'roller skate show' in the garage.

Writing for the market?

2006-01-25T07:26:00.000-08:00

I'm struggling lately with what script I'll write next. I've written about a dozen or so feature film scripts (only a few of which, perhaps four or five, I now consider good enough to circulate or still own outright). And in most of those cases, I simply came up with an idea and went with it. Commercial considerations really didn't enter into it for me. I wrote where my heart told me to go (or my brain, but I am using heart to indicate artistic interest).

But after years of relative obscurity and some degree of futility on the 'market,' and armed with someone acting as a de facto manager, I am trying to think more strategically. I am trying to write for the market.

In screenwriting, it is generally acknowledged that, if you want to write artsy fare, you have to make your bones, so to speak, by producing something that will sell and, in the best case, that will be a hit. You are then relatively free to write unusual things. The reputation you attain at writing something successful (i.e., financially rewarding) means people don't automatically reject the unusual work you do in the future. American Beauty was Alan Ball's first produced feature, you say? Yes, but he slaved away on the Cybill show on network TV for several years. What about Charlie Kauffman, whose first produced film was Being John Malkovich? Well, Mr. Kauffman was a sitcom writer, too. He worked on Fox's Ned & Stacy, among other things.

My point is that these writers proved they could do traditional 'good' work. While they were working on their weird and wonderful spec scripts, they were doing good, solid work.

Which brings me back, uh, me. I'm trying to think strategically, to write something that's good and solid and that will sell.

But writing a new spec is a big commitment of time. So I don't want to write something that's not satisfying or moving me towards my personal goals as a writer.

I have several good ideas I could be working on, but none of them is particularly commercial. One of them has commercial possibilities, but there was a pitch sold by a major comedy writer in Hollywood a few months ago, and while the two ideas aren't really that similar, the presence of one key 'location' (the segment of the world in which this particular story takes place) in both that pitch and my idea means that I probably shouldn't bother writing it.

So I've spent days just trying to think of a great commercial idea that is also something I WANT to write.

This is a lot harder than you'd expect.

How do you respond to rejection?

2006-01-23T08:33:00.000-08:00

I'm still figuring out how I respond, but I've noticed a trend, at least with regard to the film. Whenever I get rejected from a fest (or when I suspect I have been rejected, but I haven't yet gotten an official notice -- i.e., when people on the Withoutabox Message Boards are posting that they heard from XYZ Film Festival, and I haven't heard anything), after I've dealt with my sad feeilings over not getting in, I find myself searching the festival listings for other fests to enter.

Last night, I identified about 5 or 10 new fests to enter. I sent off three more entries this morning (the three with the closest deadlines).

Come to think of it, I am pretty sure I do this with scripts, too. It's on a smaller scale there, but when I get rejected by a production company or agent, I usually start searching out other places to submit.

It turns out rejection is a pretty big motivator for me.

Of course, I should probably be spending more time looking at why something is being rejected. But when I do that, I end up questioning everything.

There is a fine line between "believing in your work" and "unwarranted arrogance." There is also a fine line between "editing your work in response to criticism" and "insanity" (i.e., changing stuff in response to every critical remark.

I don't walk those particular lines very well. I veer wildly from one to another, careening like a drunk driver. I go from anger ("how can they not like this? those idiots!") to depression ("i suck -- i am mediocre at best") in the span of minutes.

It's weird to be me. I haven't yet figured out how I can be so sure of myself and so unsure of myself at the same time... how I can hear a compliment and pick out (and obsess about) the one minor criticism within the compliment.

At the heart of it all, I suspect, is an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy, a belief that I have nothing worth saying and no skill in saying it.

I hate writing...

2006-01-21T08:54:00.000-08:00

...I love 'having written.' So said Dorothy Parker, and often I couldn't agree with her more (though, there are times when the writing process is invigorating, and I feel a little like Anthony Michael Hall at the end of The Breakfast Club, reading his essay and punching his own shoulder, knowing he's written a gem).

But in general, the writing process is a chore. Today, surprisingly, I really want to write. But I can't.

Because I don't know what to write about. This is frustrating me beyond belief. I have several ideas I've been working on. They're in various stages of development, but none of them is the idea I want to tackle next.

So I'm sitting here (surrounded by my brood, by the way -- so it's not like I would be getting much writing done anyway), desperately wanting to write something and having nothing to write.

This sucks. I need to decide what I'm going write next. I haven't written a new spec in... um, too long.

FWIW...

2006-01-17T13:19:00.000-08:00

...I'm feeling better today, having come to terms with the fact that one person (or group of persons) did not like the film, and that's bound to happen. It's not everyone's taste.

It would help, of course, if OTHER people (i.e., thosw reviewing the film) recognized this and didn't just declare it so boring that they started chatting with others in the room in the first 10 minutes.

Okay, I'm still stinging a little. But I'm hopeful with regard to other fests, and I have to remember that others have found the film funny and insightful. It's not just me and my subjective opinion.

Darkness Descends

2006-01-16T16:28:00.001-08:00

My mood is particularly bleak today. As noted below, several fests seem to be notifying today, and I haven't heard a word. One of them is a major. The other two are relatively small and minor -- i.e., I was hoping to easily get into a few of those.

Granted, no fest is a given. But finding out that people are hearing from a tiny indie fest, and me not hearing anything, with my mood already low... well, I'm having a hard time even making my dinner tonight. I'm longing for 24 to come on so I can get lost in escapist television and perhaps forget that the film I've labored over is falling flat with so many festivals.

I just want to use some choice profanity and go on a rampage for a while. But (a) it wouldn't solve anything, and (b) I have a wife and three little kids, none of whom would appreciate the purpose of the ranting.

But really, just a lousy lousy day right now.

LATE UPDATE: This day keeps getting better. An indie film screening series to which we submitted the film said, via email: "I must say that it was shot quite well and looked very professional. Even the actors did a good job BUT at 93 minutes it was just not funny. Everyone watching started looking the other way and talking amongst themselves about 10 minutes into the film."

Uh, ouch.

Festival Frustration

2006-01-16T11:23:00.000-08:00

I am still waiting on word from many festivals, and of course I am confident we'll get into SOME festival at SOME point (I am, I suppose, MOSTLY confident of this).

But as I peruse the festival messageboards on Withoutabox, I frequently see messages from people, fellow festival-waiters like me, who say things like "I haven't heard anything, but they emailed me for a photo of the director. I'm taking that as a good sign."

Well, duh, of course it's a good sign.

I, on the other hand, have heard nothing from any festival. I am growing increasingly frustrated, anxious, and -- yes -- depressed. I keep asking myself: does this film suck? What have I done wrong?

I really do believe in the film, but it's hard to keep believing in the film with rejections (or implied rejections) coming at you at top speed.

Petty Grammar News

2006-01-14T19:03:00.000-08:00

I flipped on TNT during halftime of the Broncos/Patriots playoff game (I am a football fanatic, what can I say?). And on the bottom of the screen is that helpful text (for latecomers) indicating what movie is playing.

It read: Your watching Underworld on TNT.

Maybe it only bothers me that a broadcast television network would screw up a basic grammar rule. I actually went to their website, got a general email address, and sent an email explaining that YOU'RE = YOU ARE. I know it will be ignored, and whoever reads it will think I am being petty. But it made me feel better.

The only thing worse would have been if it said: Your "watching" Underworld on TNT.

Sheesh.

Delurk, you slackers!

2006-01-11T07:29:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's National Delurking Week, which is my latest excuse for begging people to leave comments. If you lurk here, drop a comment. I'm curious how many people are actually reading me (some days, honestly, I don't blog because I sense I am talking to myself).

Update: A day later, and only ONE delurker? Come on...

Hoping for SXSW

2006-01-09T17:34:00.000-08:00

Still nothing from all the fests we sent the film to, other than the rejection from Sundance and Slamdance, and the implied rejection from San Francisco Indie Fest (implied by the fact that the fest is in three weeks and I haven't heard squat, in spite of my emailing them to see if we were in or out).

The one I'm waiting and hoping for at the moment is SXSW (South by Southwest). Great fest in Austin TX, very reputable, would LOVE to premiere there.

I haven't heard a peep from them yet. They are supposed to announce to the lineup in early to mid-February. Some people HAVE heard from them. Their website give the following "insider tip':

No news is good news. If you haven't heard from us, it means your film is still in the running. Please don't call us panicked unless you still haven't heard from us at all by February 13.

So, I am HOPING this means we truly are still in the running. A SXSW premiere would make my year.

Say a prayer and think good thoughts for us...

And so it begins...

2006-01-08T19:18:00.000-08:00

Classes start tomorrow morning. I'm vaguely prepared. What I mean to say is: I finished (mostly) the syllabi for my two spring classes before finishing out the fall term. I had planned to do a little more revamping, but this week got away from me and, well, the ride is starting, so my hands are inside the cart for the rest of the semester.

Not sure the metaphor really works, but I think you catch my meaning.

Festivals and Difficult Decisions

2006-01-05T21:27:00.000-08:00

Got another official rejection from a top 10 festival today. On the plus side, the film was invited to the 'online' component of this major fest. But you know, I don't really want the film to premiere online. I want it to have a theater premiere. I think it deserves that.

So, I turned down the online fest yesterday.

Then today, the official rejection from the main festival came in. I knew it was coming, of course. By getting into the online fest, I knew was automatically out of the main fest.

But it still hurts a little.

Break Tally

2006-01-03T20:00:00.001-08:00

so, my tally of books and movies over the break...

movies:
Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, & The Wardrobe
Syriana
Walk the Line
Fun with Dick and Jane
Munich
Narnia (again, tomorrow, with my eldest daughter)
History of Violence (finally came to the cheap theater in town, seeing it Thursday)

books:
I got several graphic novels for Christmas, so...
The Dark Knight Returns
Superman: Secret Identity
Superfolks (a so-so novel by Robert Mayer)

I'm back

2005-12-30T20:36:00.000-08:00

I know you've all missed me so. Well, there was a death in the family (not unexpected, but a few weeks earlier than expected). So our relaxing Christmas at home with the kids and my wife's parents ended up being spent... elsewhere. We drove 1000 miles -- without a break -- to get to the funeral in time. Actually, we drove 1000 miles to get to my in-laws' home, and then the next morning took a three-hour drive further south to go to the funeral.

A week later, we drove the 1000 miles back home.

I don't like long drives. So I find it annoying that we have lived a minimum of a 10 hour-drive from close family for the past twelve years. Before I took this job, I was determined that the next position would take us closer to family. Instead, we moved further away.

But I love my job and don't want to leave. I really feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. But an 18-hour drive? Yuck. And we actually didn't leave until 4pm the day we left last week. And for some reason, I made the decision to drive through the night (if we hadn't, we would have gotten in really late and then had to get up early the next morning to drive the extra three hours). Driving through the night... well, we used to do it all the time, on a 12-hour drive from home to my in-laws' home. We'd arrive at dawn and plop into bed.

But I'm not in my 20's anymore. This was a hard trip. Leaving at 4pm meant we didn't arrive til 11am the next day. Around 5am, I just couldn't do it anymore. It was a combination of exhaustion, tension (from the driving), and pain (sitting in one position for 12 hours is not good for my already-bad back).

So, home now. Glad I am going to sleep in my own bed tonight. Don't want to make any long trips for a while.

the damn waiting...

2005-12-18T21:04:00.000-08:00

so, i made a film and have entered it into a number of festivals. i've got a script going out to a few well-placed contacts after the holidays. i've got several things sort of 'in the hopper.'

and the waiting on all this is killing me. just driving me crazy.

i've never been good at waiting for things to happen. the festival thing is especially driving me nuts. i just want to know -- NOW!

Writing is Rewriting?

2005-12-14T20:59:00.000-08:00

If writing is rewriting, as most writers will say it is, then is constantly revising the same script over and over again actually writing?

Okay, so I'm not constantly revising it over and over. It's just that, with screenwriting, there is so much tweaking and rewriting (over a comparitively small number words (compared to novels, for example)). This one script, one of my best, is the one that my friend/would-be manager is going to take out to the industry. And I'm trying to tighten it and make it better. And it IS better.

But I can't remember the last time I started a new script --from scratch-- and completed it. This may just be my own paranoia and neuroses. I don't know. I'm just concerned that I am not growing as a writer if I am still trying to make this one script good (or revisiting other old scripts, for that matter).

I'm a writer, so I"m naturally going to question my own abilities. So I don't know, maybe I should just strart writing and stop thinking about writing.

FALL 2005 Semester is History

2005-12-14T10:09:00.000-08:00

Grades are in. I am officially (more or less) on break. Going to see a movie this afternoon to celebrate.

My Newest Little Reader

2005-12-09T20:36:00.000-08:00

My middle child - the 4 year old - recently to recognize letters and their sounds. So we've been teaching her to read. You know - bat, cat, rat, etc. She also recognizes our names. So tonight, she situated herself under the Christmas tree and started reading who every package was for.

It was fun to listen to her mounting excitement as she not only found presents for her, but also just the thrill in her voice because she could do this all by herself.

Got most of my grading done today. I have one full day, maybe a day-and-a-half of grading left and then I'll be done. Woo. Hoo.

Snow Day!

2005-12-07T18:25:00.000-08:00

Actually, it's more like a delayed-ice-morning. Temperatures are going to be in their teens tomorrow morning, my eldest child's school opening is delayed two hours, and so I'm going to sleep in.

Real grading starts in earnest tomorrow -- scripts from my screenwriting students are due (and one or two were already slid under my door). So when I start my late morning, I'll be trying to get through those scripts and the final projects of my directing students. A few more days of this...

Meanwhile, I read on the Withoutabox member forums that several people have already been notified that they are 'in' a couple of fests from which I am still waiting to hear. So, not sure if I should start getting depressed, or just continue to wait anxiously. These things are often done in stages, or notifications takee several days. On the other hand, they might have taken several days already and I might be S.O.L...

Nice Moment

2005-12-06T21:16:00.000-08:00

Tonight we had a screening, not of my film, but of the documentary a senior made, the 'making of' film. An hour long doc that tells the story of my feature film debut, with a crew of inexperienced students, on a micro budget, on a three-week schedule.

It was a great documentary, a really effective portrayal of the event, moving and funny and full of great characters.

The senior who made it, who had complete freedom and access during production, did a fantastic job. So often on here I complain about those who do nothing or have little drive, ambition, or talent. But this kid was a consummate professional who produced a festival-worthy piece, and I'm proud he was my student.

As an added bonus, the two senior faculty in my division came to the late screening and not only liked the film but had occasion to 'see' the experience my students had this summer, bolstering my reputation for involving the students in my creative work and giving them an opportunity they would never have had if I wasn't here...

All in all, a really nice night. I sat with my wife and the producer (a fellow faculty member) and his wife, got to share this experience with colleagues and the students who worked on it, and reflected on the opportunities I've had over the past 18 months since I started on faculty here.

Also had a nice dinner at the university's faculty/staff Christmas dinner, a huge event in the basketball arena. All the younger faculty in our media division came with spouses or significant others and sat together and joked and talked. It was just a really pleasant evening, culminating with the screening. Couldn't have asked for a better night. Now if only it wasn't so late and I didn't have an all-day curriculum meeting tomorrow...

CLASSES ARE OVER!

2005-12-05T14:48:00.000-08:00

'Nuff said. Still have grading to do, of course. But glad to be done prepping classes.

Rewriting Update

2005-12-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

Well, I finished working on the rewrite. Admittedly, it was more of a polish. And I think I'm pretty happy with the script. I know I don't miss any of the cuts. As much as I hate to cut things, I have to admit that losing the scenes and parts of scenes that I lost didn't hurt it at all, and the sped-up pace definitely helps.

New Friend wants me to read his latest spec, which is going out wide next week. It's too late for major rewriting. He just wants a general impression. I take it as a compliment -- that he likes my writing and just wants to know what I think.

So, this came out of the blue...

2005-12-01T20:24:00.000-08:00

I sent a copy of one of my best scripts to someone I met at that writer's conference-thingy I went to back in October. He's an L.A.-based writer, has some contacts. I figured, well, what could it hurt.

So he called me this week and wanted to give me his notes.

Now, I'm a writer, which means, by definition, I am only interested in people praising my words. So of course I tell him, "Great!" I always listen to people's feedback, and I rarely get outwardly defensive. But inside, I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's not anger. It's not defensiveness. It's just... I don't know what it is. It just is. When people critique, even with good intentions, it's like a wound of some sort.

So anyway, he starts in, and this isn't just some feedback. This is scene-by-scene notes. I mean real notes. I mean, 'this guy works in the business' notes.

And they were good notes. Not stupid and vague. Not missing the point. They were right and point. And really, really good.

I usually HATE it when someone giving me feedback starts making suggestions. My thing is: tell me what's not working, I'll decide how to fix it. But if someone wants to offer, I'll always feign interest. Well, New Friend here started in with the ideas and suggestions, all with the polite disclaimer that his ideas might be bullshit and not to worry if I didn't like them (which was appreciated).

And then his ideas were fantastic. Not every one of them. It's not like this happened in an some alternate universe. But most of the ideas were very, very good (as a writer, I find it alarming how many times I've used really, very, and good in this post).

First thing he said was -- gotta drop the page count. It was an unwieldy 126 pages, too long for the industry, and definitely too long for anything pretending to be a comedy. I've known this the whole time, but somehow convinced myself the script was so good that it wouldn't matter (how do we convince ourselves of things like this?). Gotta be 108 pages, max. Wow -- lots of cuts.

In two hours of discussion, we got through about 87 pages. I had to get home. That evening, I started working on it. I don't know why. There is no deadline. I don't have time right now. But I just felt highly motivated, and I thought his notes were such that implementing them could put the script over the top. And I've just been itching to do some creative work, so I guess I latched on to this.

So I cut the script significantly, implemented a bunch (not all) of his changes. Finally finished the conversation today and then he drops the bombshell...

He's made an arrangement with his somewhat small-time agent that he'll develop scripts on his own and bring them to his agent to go out with them. And, with his contacts, he feels that -- even if his agent doesn't want to handle it -- he'd like to rep the script himself, as a manager.

So this was weird. He's a writer, right?

But you know, he knows the business. He knows a lot of people. He has an office on the [Big Studio] lot, doing development for a television producer. He thinks the script is strong enough to make a six-figure sale, and he wants to be part of it (for, you know, 10% -- typical for a representative).

Now, I'm thinking -- well, what have I got to lose? 10% of what I'm currently getting for that script is -- you guessed it -- nothing! And here's a guy who loves my work, was really impressed by the speed at which I implemented my changes (and the fact that this also showed how 'hungry' I am), and who thinks he can sell it, and who doesn't make any money unless I make money.

So as I'm describing this, it sounds like no big deal. But it sounded like a nice option to me today. It still does. At the very least, he'll be getting my work in front of legit production companies and studios, places I can't get it seen.

It was just a nice little thing that happened today. Much nicer than getting rejected by another festival.

Slamdance, too

2005-11-30T11:55:00.000-08:00

Damn.

[sigh].

Sundance News

2005-11-29T19:27:00.000-08:00

Since there are no exclamation points in the title, you might have guessed that the film did not get into Sundance. I had a good sulk about it, and I'm still disappointed, but I'm moving on. Still hoping for other great fests to invite us...

To Do List

2005-11-27T08:41:00.000-08:00

Course evals

Annual tenure review (Monday afternoon)

Wait on festivals to respond

Accept inevitability of not getting into Sundance or Slamdance, since I haven't heard from either yet.

Sigh.

I am an idiot

2005-11-17T19:08:00.000-08:00

i got a call tonight from the festival programmer at one of the film fests we entered. i was just about to get excited when he told me that i had send them a dvd case with no dvd in it!

Idiot, idiot, idiot.

i did four or five entries that one day, and i don't know how i missed that.

i'm fortunate that the one empty i sent (god, i hope it was just the one) was to a smaller indie fest. i mean, the guy was nice enough to call me.

so tomorrow i have to fed ex it to him.

i just feel like a complete idiot. really. it makes me worry what else i might have screwed up.

Update: I fed ex'd (fed exed?) the DVD this morning. Should be on his doorstep by Monday.

Still feel like an idiot.

Why?

2005-11-16T18:11:00.000-08:00

I'm still in rant mode over my screenwriting class, so this is more of that...

Why do students take this class, I wonder? Do they just assume it's going to be easy? I guess, as electives go, it certainly SOUNDS more interesting than other so-called "communication" courses. But don't they know they have to write a screenplay?

I swear, the god-awful crap most of them turned in this week was so... well... god-awful. I've read lots of bad writing. But this stuff was -- and I'm really not joking here -- painful to read. After a while, I was having to take breaks just to slog through it. And when they send me more stuff to read, I cringe and avoid it.

I, of course, kind of expect the stories to be immature, and there's a good deal of 'telling' when they should be 'showing' (basically, all their characters have amazing self-knowledge and proceed to tell all the other characters exactly what they're thinking and feeling). So that stuff, well, it takes time to get better at it. I do know that.

What REALLY bugs me is when they just ignore me. Well, it's not really ignoring. 'Ignoring' implies that they heard what I said, thought about it, and chose not to do it. I would be giving them too much credit if I said that. It was clear from their submissions that they simply weren't listening.

I go overboard in making this easy for them. Screenplay format, while tedious and bordering on insanely over-detailed, is nevertheless absolutely essential to making it as a screenwriter. You just have to do it right. There isn't much room for error. If you submit a really badly formatted script, you are assumed to be a complete amateur.

So I teach them basic format. And I give them a simple Microsoft Word template -- they can download it from the course Blackboard site. And if they use that, it's basically just point-and-click.

Yet I still get submissions so far afield from proper format as to make me question if they came from students actually IN the class.

I tell them not to use a lot of parentheticals (the little 'personal directions' in parentheses under a character name, used to tell the actor how to say the line). And I get scripts with parentheticals on every line of dialogue. Every line.

Do not center your dialogue, I explain. Or your character names. So of course I get several submissions that have done just that.

Don't start every scene with characters engaging in small talk when they run into each other. Yes, we do this in real life. No, we do not see it in movies. Can you guess how many scripts had meaningless small talk at the start of every scene.

I have seriously lowered the standards of what I expect I'll read from these students. I don't think they'll write anything remotely produceable. But this semester's bunch really has hit a new low in quality. And it has made going to this class a chore.

It also hasn't helped that many of them don't show up at all. And they turn in assignments really late. I expect one or two of those in your average class. But out of a relatively small class (15 students), I've had 5 or 6 who have done very little of the work. One-third of the class?! That seems insanely high to me. And their slacking affects the other students, because they are all in small groups, and these small groups are supposed to critique each group member's work. So two people from a three-person group are consistently absent and don't do the work, and the one person in the group who DID do the work suffers.

Sigh. Just a little pissed about this tonight. I could legitimately fail 5-7 people in this class. I just don't like doing that, and especially not that many. And, while I am loathe to admit it, I don't have tenure yet, and good student evals matter a great deal here, especially in a course like this -- basically my specialty.

Am I saying that five years from now, when I have tenure, I would just fail these people?

Yeah, probably. I probably would have called each of them to my office weeks ago to tell them they should drop the course or accept an inevitable F. Frankly, I'm embarrassed to have these students leave my class and say they learned screenwriting from me. I wish I could just fail them or force them out. But I don't like doing it, and more importantly, I don't feel empowered to do it.

Which leads to a whole different post on the subject of how much weight in the tenure process should be given to student course evals. But I don't have the energy for that right now.

Demographics

2005-11-15T20:19:00.000-08:00

Conversation just now in the kitchen:

TerminalMFA: You know, you're forgetting a lot of stuff.
Spouse of TMFA: Well, I csn't help it. I'm getting older. I'm in the next demographic. I'm 35.
TerminalMFA: Yes, well, we in the previous and highly attractive 18-34 demographic miss you.
Spuse of TMFA: We'll be welcoming you soon enough.

I'm going to miss the 18-34 demographic. And I have mere months left to enjoy this most desirable and attractive of demographics. It's been a good ride...

This post was apropos of nothing. Resume your regular blog-reading.

That time of the semester...

2005-11-15T13:24:00.000-08:00

I spoke to two students yesterday who were at different levels of desperation in requesting extensions.

One of them didn't have any legitimate reason. He's just struggling to come up with the topic for his major production assignment (a short film) in my directing class. So, what's the thinking here? I should just allow you to use 'creatively blocked' as an excuse when everyone else is expected to turn their film in on time?

I was about to go into more detail here, but it's too depressing. Depressing isn't the right word. Annoying. This part of being a teacher drives me crazy. If you want to do well in my classes, if it's THAT important to you (and they all say it is), then give it the attention it deserves sooner.

So, the film is in a brief period of 'stasis' right now. The picture is essentially locked (though, you know, I know the combination to the lock, and I will likely open that lock at some point, but for the moment it's not changing). Bringing the original HD footage in to the EDL (edit decision list) will take some time (especially because HD production students are in post on their final projects now, tying up the edit suite). Sound editing is in process. So I'm not doing a whole lot myself, which means my anxiety level is back up.

This is my 'creative anxiety level' (CAL). My CAL goes up when I feel like I'm not doing anything creatively. I'm not working on a script right now. I'm not doing creative work on the film. I am, in fact, waiting to hear back from film festivals. Waiting is excruciating.

And with Withoutabox.com, which I mentioned in a previous post, I can actually verify when film fests have received the preview screening tape/dvd. They actually go online and indicate somehow that the tape is logged in. And my screen shows a little green dot instead of a little red dot next to 'tape arrived'. Which is nice. It's nice to be able to verify that.

But for someone like me, it also makes me antsy. Ready to hear back. These things are lengthy processes, though. So I should just be moving on to other things. But there's a lot of work to be done for classes, and my brain just isn't ready to tackle a creative project from scratch. I need some time for that.

In any case, that's where my head is today. In addition to being 'out to fests,' the film is also out to a few key people who might like it (one hopes) and who might then review it positively for certain web outlets (you know who you are!). So I'm hoping to get some good buzz going, assuming the reviews are positive. And maybe that good buzz will translate into festival appearances or other good things for the film.

With apologies to Blogger...

2005-11-10T08:00:00.000-08:00

a few days ago, i wrote up a long post about festival entries, and (i thought) blogger ate it. so i posted a shorter version with the heading you see below this post. and (i thought) blogger ate it, too.

so i figured the problem, whatever it was, must be fixed by now. it wasn't. cruised the help topics and found out blogger doesn't like the non-standard browser i use on my mac. okay, fine. so it was a 'known issue' (to them, not to me). but i've been posting from this browser for months now, with no 'issues', so why all of a sudden is it losing posts?

anyway, i thought i'd get back to posting.

the locked-picture-cut of the film has now been entered in a bunch more fests. on tuesday, i entered eight more festivals. that sounds like no big deal. but it took me the better part of the entire day to get those entries prepped and sent off (and that was while using withoutabox.com, a festival-entry engine to which many fests now subscribe, meaning i didn't have to fill out every individual festival entry form. I just do a one-time 'Create Project' on withoutabox.com, and then 'Enter Festival' for whichever fests i want to enter).

WithoutABox saves time, no doubt. but every festival still seems to want their stuff done in a unique manner. some fests will accept dvd's for pre-screening purposes (i.e., not for actual showing in the fest, just for determining if you get INTO the fest). some don't want dvd's and will only accept vhs. among those who do accept dvd, many specify the ONLY kind of case in which you can submit your dvd. and what you should have printed on the case (running time, title, special tracking # issued by withoutabox). some require a press kit. some request but do not require one. some don't care about a press kit at all. some want hard-copy production stills. some will accept them in digital format. some want them but don't specify if one or the other is required or preferred.

these requirements really aren't that onerous or ridiculous for an individual fest. it's when you're entering a bunch at one time that it becomes headache-inducing. so by the end of tuesday, i had a whopping tension headache.

but, now the film is entered in 16 fests. i wish all 16 had the final picture cut, because i (obviously) think it's the best cut. but half of them will have that one. and it's a bit of a waiting game at this point.

which is frustrating for me. i have to get on with other things while i wait to hear. first results will start to trickle in the first or second week of december (from sundance and slamdance). missing out on those would be a major disappointment. but as i've said from the beginning, i know they are longshots at best because of how competitive they are.

the waiting kills me, because i am one of those people who has difficulty concentrating on the next creative project while the current one hasn't yet come to 'full fruition.' that's stupid, of course. waste of time. can't just sit here and wait for phone calls or emails that may never come. and even if they do, that's a lot of wasted time until then.

but my head just isn't in a new script right now. i need to start one soon. i am at that creative-insecurity point where i haven't written a brand-new-from-scratch feature spec in a while, and i'm questioning my ability to pull it off. my last few attempts have either been aborted or just not that great. so i'm worried i won't be able to write another great one (assuming i have written a great one in the past, which i admit is a debatable point).

Stupid &%$#@ Blogger

2005-11-08T13:07:00.000-08:00

Friday

2005-11-04T09:57:00.000-08:00

it's amazing to me how much more laid back this semester has been compared to the frenzied panic i felt all last year. here it is, a friday with a significant portion of the semester still to go, and i spent about 10 minutes reviewing class notes for next week and then just didn't feel like doing it anymore. so i stopped. i am prepared enough. i don't have to re-read it a thousand times. last year, i would have been memorizing and highlighting.

i admit, part of this is because this particular class underwhelms me. the students barely show any interest, and while i am trying to capture their attention, i am not going to spend hours and hours if they're not going to put in a minimal amount of work.

in other news, i unofficially locked picture this morning on my film. wow -- can't believe i just wrote that. i mean, i can always 'unlock' it if i choose, so it doesn't have a real burning sense of finality. but we needed to start cleaning up sound and adding sound effects and ambiance, and we needed to capture the HD clips to replace the down-converted video (and color correct the HD as we do). so with those processes needing to begin, and with time winding down on the semester, it feels a little more like a i am walking towards a finish line rather than sprinting across it.

but it still feels good.

now i just wish i had been able to send THIS cut to all those festivals i already entered (eight so far). it's much better, especially the beginning.

"Real" writing

2005-11-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

i sometimes miss writing prose. i used to have a real knack for it (maybe i still do). writing for film is about crafting good images, and yes, it does involve good wordplay. bu that wordplay is essentially crafted to sell the script and communicate the vision. i.e., some of the best stuff won't be seen by anyone except as it is translated to image. and, even at its best, prose in a script is still depressingly utilitarian.

so i was thinking today about my idea for a new script. it was something i was going to write, at one point, as a novel. so i opened up my idea file for it, and read through the prose intro i had written, and a few other passages i had composed. and they were pretty good, in a douglas adams kind of way (i love douglas adams' novels, as slight as they appear to be, because he had such a gift with language and verbal play).

so i was reading my stuff and thinking, dang, now i don't want to write this as a script, because all of my really good ideas for it will be lost in the ether.

but, because i have to get tenure here, i can't just embark on a novel as my next project. a novel doesn't get me tenure. i have to sell scripts, make films, etc. but i really want to write this.

but, you know, that's just how i feel today. i don't know that i'll feel that way tomorrow or in a few weeks, and i do love film. i just miss writing words that everyone will see, as opposed to words that only the buyers and actors will see.

Locking Picture

2005-11-02T13:33:00.000-08:00

I think we're going to lock picture by Thursday morning. Good solid 96 minute cut. Very happy with it. Just spent the last week re-cutting the opening and feel like it starts the film off much stronger now.

I can't believe we're about to lock picture. It both exhilirates and stresses me out. I am ready for sound work to get started, though, and to see the film in its original HD format, because this down-converted compressed video is starting to bug me.

So, next step is to bring the HD into the system for the clips used in the offline edit. Then color correct shot-by-shot. And the sound editor will be working simultaneously on cleaning up audio and adding effects and ambience.

Kids are cute

2005-10-30T18:29:00.000-08:00

Let me clarify. MY kids are cute. I don't really think most other kids are cute. Unless they're well behaved. I find well-behaved kids to be much cuter than poorly behaved children. And when I say 'much cuter,' I mean that ill-behaved children are not cute at all.

But, to be specific, my 4 year old middle child said something that cracked me up today.

Driving home from church today, we passed some cows in a field (yes, we live in a fairly rural area, and no, it doesn't bother me). Anyway, the conversation went something like this:

Middle Child (MC): Daddy, cows!
TerminalMFA (TMFA): I know, I see them.
MC: Why does that one have a hump on its back?
TMFA: That's a male cow, sweetie. A bull.
(Silence from back seat).
MC: So he delivers the mail to all the other cows?

Took me a second to figure out the whole male/mail thing, which of course seems fairly obvious in print. But I laughed for several minutes. I love my kids.

Students and a Film Update

2005-10-24T18:17:00.000-07:00

Teaching screenwriting is fun for me. I love talking about writing, about how to do it, about what I know and what I've learned. I love showing examples of great writing. Today, however, was not a fun day.

We did a writing exercise in class today, something I've done several times before with good results. The students have to write a script scene from a comic book scene. The purpose is to give them some practice in describing effectively, capturing mood along with straight action.

And man, this group is not doing well. One student wrote dialogue with generic actions in parentheses under the spoken words. Um, hello, didn't we cover format for a week or two? What exactly are you writing? He seemed totally confused.

Another student, who admittedly has a disability, couldn't grasp it at all. WTF? This isn't rocket science. Doing it WELL takes real skill and talent. Doing it AT ALL takes, well, quite a few less brain cells. Have you seen some of the crap that gets produced? We're not talking about philosophers and Mensa members here. Some of them are brilliant, and some are trained monkeys (on their good days).

I'm just grousing, but I'm surprised at the amazingly poor level of storytelling skills many of my students have coming in to my classes. I don't expect them to have a superior grasp, and I'm always pleasantly surprised when someone knows their stuff right at the start. But these kids see movies all the time. You'd think they'd understand it a little, since they actually want to write or make them.

And can we talk responsibility level? They were supposed to turn in their detailed script synopsis over a week ago. On the due date, I got roughly half of them turned in. Several of them still haven't submitted anything. At 5 points a day, that's a costly level of irresponsbility, don't you think?

I don't expect them to be geniuses. Not by a long stretch. My standards have gotten pretty low over the last year. I'm just really disappointed in this particular crop of students.

And the film update. We've been continuing to cut. We are down to 95 minutes now, and that makes me pretty happy, because the first rough/assembly cut was two-and-a-half hours! A lot of good material is gone, but I think we are down the best stufff that tells the story (i.e., not the best stuff overall -- some hilarious material is now in the DVD extras timeline in Final Cut Pro -- but the best stuff that actually contributes to telling the story).

I need to toughen my hide up, though. Every time someone offers criticism, I start to get all -- how do I describe it. I don't know. Lousy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I take it very personally, which is understandable because I've been working on this for several years, if you could writing the script and trying to raise money (and, you know, you have to count those things). And there's a lot on the line, not the least of which is that my tenure here depends on my creative work, which -- since I got here -- is only this film.

getting caught up

2005-10-20T06:44:00.000-07:00

so you're probably thinking, where the hell is terminalmfa?

(this question presupposes that anyone actually reads my blog, but indulge me a bit).

well, i was busy with the film, and then last week i was out of town at a 'creative symposium' -- a terrific invitation-only event, where i was challenged creatively and really re-energized. and i made some great contacts for the future.

so i'm in the office. my email is down and i'm waiting on the I.T. folks to come by and fix it. i don't have any appointments. so i might as well blog.

i am about a week behind on deciding on textbooks for next semester. i only have two classes (yay!) and only one of them has a text. but i could not decide on it. well, i finally did, late yesterday afternoon, and got that turned in. but it made me wonder why the hell we have to decide on texts in october!? ok, large university, lots of faculty, lots of book orders, it takes time to process it all. i get that. what i don't get is that, in at least one of my classes each semester since i've been here, books were not yet on the shelves when classes started. so i dragged my feet a little this semester. obviously the bookstore isn't ina rush to place my orders anyway. and we're not talking back-ordered books. in my screenwriting class this semester, i used three scripts published in shooting script format from newmarket press. you can find these in barnes & noble and other good bookstores. so why can't our bookstore get them in on time? only the shadow knows...

anyway, so my tenure review meeting for this year got moved up to next month. actually, it was always next month, but my dept. chair thought it would be in january and told me that. so i spent one day this week prepping my tenure credentials notebook. since i had to create the thing ex nihilo last year, it was already pretty much 'there' and just needed updating. it surprised me that i was able to finish it in an afternoon. there are a couple of pieces still to be added/rewritten (hey, that's what i should be working on right now!). but in general, it's pretty much done and waiting only on some letters from current and former students and colleagues that i want to include. you know, a bunch of people singing my praises. yee ha.

the biggest thing on my mind to date is that, in the aftermath of my experience at that symposium, i'm really not sure what i want to write next. i was all set to begin a page-one rewrite of a fairly high-concept script i wrote a couple of years ago -- something where i didn't execute it that well and knew i could make it a LOT better. then two things happened: (1) someone i met at the symposium was pitching the exact same concept as a sitcom to a network this week. and i heard his pitch, and it was MUCh better than my script. and (2) i felt really challenged by the symposium to think about what i want to do with my work -- what i want to accomplish. i have always wanted my work to have a 'significance' and i don't want to get stuck in high concept world or silly comedy land. the film i shot this summer is an out-and-out comedy, but it does TRY to have a social significance. i wonder if it will come across, though. and i think comedy is easier for me (though hard to execute) because it keeps me from trying to think seriously about some issues.

anyway, that's what's been going on.

sundance and beyond

2005-10-04T18:36:00.000-07:00

with the sundance cut out the door, we watched the rough cut all the way through with a small-ish audience, to get a fresh view of it.

man, what a disappointment.

some of it was good. some of it mediocre. some of it was agonizingly slow. so i immediately sent an email to several people to whom i had sent dvd's of the rough cut, apologizing in advance for the slow sections. which was silly. one of the actors, who is also a good friend, called and told me not to apologize in advance. he's right, of course, but i was worried people would think i thought this was a great cut. this is a very neurotic point of view, i admit.

so i immediately made a page of notes, and Editor did as well. made me feel better knowing i was doing something to rectify the film's failings.

but i was also thinking, 'dang, blew my chances at sundance by sending them a crap cut.'

but then other people who had seen the rough cut called and emailed me to tell me that it was good, and funny. not perfect, obviously. but not bad. so i'm feeling better.

we made some major cuts on a few areas that needed work. and now we need to watch the thing all the way through and see if those changes 'worked.'

i really have no sense of how well it's working. on the funny stuff, i laugh in anticipation or have ceased to laugh altogether because i've seen it so often that it's just not spontaneously funny anymore. the editor has shown it repeatedly to friends, and has consistently gotten good reports and lots of laughs. so i feel better about that, and about the reactions of other people who have weighed in.

but we have deadlines coming up for other festivals this month, and i really want to send out the best rough cut i can send.

i have no pithy way to end this post.

done

2005-09-28T13:55:00.000-07:00

well, we made the deadline. the package to sundance was fed ex'd today. cross your fingers or say a prayer, if you're so inclined.

in other news, one of our lecturers resigned today, two weeks notice, which seems crazy in academia, but considering that he didn't get a contract til two weeks into the term, i can't say that i blame him. and given that situation, he's been looking elsewhere because he's sick of sweating out whether or not he'll have a job every semester. i am hoping this will be a wake up call for the admin regarding the pay and treatment of lecturers.

hey -- i maanaged to get that out with a straight face.

weird feelings

2005-09-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

so the rough cut of the film is almost done. the cutting itself is actually done. sound is still VERY temp, but the film looks and sounds good enough to submit as a 'rough cut' submission. and we're going to fed-ex it tomorrow to sundance. and next week i am going to send it to slamdance, too.

and i'm pretty sure the film is good. but i have no clue right now. and i've been thinking all along -- this is a good film, people will like this film. but right now, i don't know.

the editor asked me what i thought about our chances at sundance. i had no answer. of course it's a ridiculous longshot. we know no one and don't have major stars. we have a ridiculously small budget and didn't shoot on film. so there's a lot working against us.

and i don't want to get my hopes up. i really don't. but i say that all the time, and i always end up doing it anyway.

i realize, of course, that sundance is just one festival. it's not the whole world. but it is sundance. i guess getting that email or phone call that i've gotten into sundance would validate my career on a level i can't imagine.

so i'm kind of all over the map today. i just feel glad about the film nearing completion, but torn about whhat to expect. i do get my hopes up, but i also get really down on myself and have come to expect rejection, because it comes so much and so often in this business.

Jury Duty

2005-09-26T12:42:00.000-07:00

in the midst of trying to get the cut done and keep up with my classes, i got called for jury duty. i was actually called for this summer, when we had just wrapped shooting and i had to go out of town. so i got it delayed til today.

went in, sat there for an hour waiting on things to happen. i'll tell you, i am no elitist. but i was astonished at the sheer stupidity of some of the people sitting around me. scary. and they wouldn't stop talking. and lady behind me? you, with the cough and the really loud voice? no one would have minded you staying home and claiming illness.

so when i finally reported to the court to which i was assigned, i learned that the case (a DUI) was postponed because the arresting officer had been assigned out of the area briefly and was thus unavailable. so we were out of there by 10:15am. i was all prepared to do my civic duty, but i admit i didn't mind having time to get some work done today.

the sundance cut is about done. one hour and forty five minutes (and change) and looking and (mostly) sounding good. i might just take a deep breath sometime soon.

Crap

2005-09-23T18:38:00.000-07:00

i didn't get the fellowship. one of twelve finalists for five slots and i didn't get it. that certainly lifts your spirits. yes, i was a finalist. but somehow, i still feel like i just suck. i'm so tired ot almost winning things. damnit.

in other news: the sundance deadline looms. my goal is to have the film in the mail on wednesday. i plan to fedex it, hoping for it to arrive on thursday because the drop dead arrival deadline is friday.

i worked til 6:30pm tonight with the editor, refining the cut. yesterday, it was bloated, plodding two-hours-and-twenty-something minutes. today, it's much a leaner one-hour-forty-eight minutes. it's still longer than it should be for a comedy. i'd love for it to be ninety minutes, no longer than one-hour-forty-minutes. but at this point, any cuts would be rushed and we wouldn't have time to really consider them. so we're going to do a little tinkering tomorrow and probably lock picture (for now -- it's just the festival entry rough cut).

we also have to leave some time for sound work. we can submit with temp sound, but we need to fine tune some of it so it doesn't sound crappy. so there's still some real work to do. but i think we're going to make it, barring some catastrophic equipment failure or something.

of course, that's just to enter it. we still have to get selected. a long shot, at best. we have no stars to speak of, no names at all really, no connections, no budget, and it's a mock documentary. i don't think there are too many things working in our favor -- it's basically down to simply how good the film is. i hope it's good enough.

Fifth Sentence Meme

2005-09-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

Rules:

1. Go into your archive.

2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).

3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).

4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

"Thing is, I don't know how to read these things."

(via many places, Academic in Exile, ProfGrrrl, and others.

updates

2005-09-20T18:33:00.000-07:00

still trying to finish the film for sundance. we're very close to finishing the rough cut, but the film is going to go over two hours (how much over, i have no clue). but even two hours is too long. so the question is: do we lop off some scene that is funny but irrelevant to the plot (mindful of the fact that i only created the 'plot' to allow me to explore what these bizarre characters would do next)? or do i try, before the deadline, to do a major overhaul, re-arranging and trimming and massively cutting some scenes down to much shorter versions? or some combination of both?

Co-Writer questioned today whether it's worth the effort to enter sundance is the cut doesn't work. and i don't disagree. but i'm just not sure how much can get done between now and next wednesday.

a lot, i hope.

in other news, i had my phone interview tonight for that fellowship. an hour long phone conversation during which i (probably) rambled a lot about my 'art' and tried to connect their questions in some way to my work and experiences. it's hard -- sometimes the question is just something you never thought about, or never tried to articulate, and suddenly you have thirty seconds to think of an answer, talking to complete strangers (three of them) who you can barely hear because they're on a conference call, and none of whom you've ever met or spoken to before!

but, all in all, i was pleased with my performance, other than that little thing i get in these situations, where i pace (i always do this on the phone) and my heart races (beause i'm nervous) and i have to try to speak without sounding out of breath because of the heart-racing thing.

it was, in truth, more nerve-wracking to me than my last job interview (when i got this job). i guess with a day or two-day long job interview, you settle in and get comfortable, to a degree, after a while. but with a phone conversation, you never get that chance. it's just nerve-wracking the entire time.

but at least it's over quicker. and you don't have to go through airport security.

some more (almost) good news

2005-09-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

i applied for a sort of fellowship in screenwriting. it's a year-long program, where they pay you $10,000 and you attend four different sessions spaced out through the year.

well, the news is that i received a phone call on friday to inform me that i am one of 12 finalists for the fellowship (i actually think they give 5 of them, so my odds aren't bad). i have to have a phone interview next week. (so, the 'almost' in my title refers to the fact that i haven't actually won anything just yet).

i'm excited and pleased, obviously. this kind of thing could have a pleasant impact on my industry career, and i think it will help with regard to tenure as well (and it's also nice to have something good happen near the start of my second year on the tenure track, since i had some good stuff happen in year one).

in other news: i need a haircut, but i couldn't get an appointment today. i hate getting haircuts. i like having had my hair cut, but i hate making the appointment, sitting in the chair, etc. so it takes all my energy to make the call to try to get an appointment. and i called, and my regular person isn't in today. so i now i have to do that all again, mid-week, when i never have time to break away. oh well. if that's the hardest thing that happens this week, i'll have an easy week.

Reactions

2005-09-16T10:20:00.000-07:00

so, how to keep this anonymous and still share some news...

some visual effects guys from a fairly major production company (think: released a couple of big releases this past year) were in town and speaking to classes in the department.

during their tour of our facilities, Senior Prof showed them (among other things) a few edited minutes of my film.

I wasn't there (how did i miss this, you ask? i had to watch Baby TerminalMFA while TerminalMFA-Spouse went to a doctor appointment). anyway, i got reports from several fronts that the visual effects guys were laughing a lot and that one asked if he could get invited to our premiere.

which presumes we'll actually get to have one. kidding. we were going to have a small one anyway. but if we can get some people out here from this company, it would be a big coup.

and it was nice to hear that our little film made with no money might somehow attract some attention from major companies, given the right circumstances.

(this would have seemed way more impressive if i could tell you the actual company involved. really.)

Sundance

2005-09-12T20:08:00.000-07:00

The film isn't done yet. Quite a bit of editing to go. But it's now officially entered in the Sundance Film Festival.

Quirk of the Sundance entry system - the late deadline is September 30th (that's the date we're targeting). But to submit late, you have to enter in their online system by the regular deadline, then send your film in by the late deadline with a check or money order for the late fee.

This, of course, means that if you DON'T finish the film on time, you're out fifty bucks.

Not that any of this means anything. As the producer said, it's kind of like registering a script with the Writers Guild. It doesn't mean anything, but it feels good when you do it. It feels official.

But we still have to finish the film. About two weeks to go. No pressure or anything.

capitals

2005-09-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

when did i stop using capital letters on my blog? i just noticed my last few posts didn't use them, but i had been using them previously.

getting my hands dirty

2005-09-09T20:54:00.000-07:00

i feel like being articulate and engaging tonight. i feel like writing something witty about politics, world issues, the meaning of life. i feel like it. but i'm me. since college i've wanted to have something significant to say. but since i don't feel like i do, i content myself with trying to entertain. being funny, being provocative (i'm talking about my films and my writing here, not how i am in public; though, now that i type that, i'm not so sure i'm not talking about both).

do i have anything to say worth hearing? is my work shallow and insipid? maybe. but at least it's funny. (the comedies, anyway).

the title of the post refers to the fact that i finally sat down in the edit suite today and did a little editing. the film's editor has been handling the 'hands on' editing, following my instructions and continual comments and notes on his edit. but today, after viewing his second attempt to cut a particularly challenging scene and being completely disappointed by both (most of his cutting has been great; this was an anomaly), i went in and worked on it myself a little.

i spent three hours editing that scene (mostly to my satisfaction) and tweaking several other things. and while i do think i cracked that scene, i mostly enjoyed just getting in there and doing some of the hard work myself. felt good. felt like i was 'swinging the bat' again after a long layoff. i was stymied by trying to remember some of final cut pro's quirks (i haven't worked with it in over a year, because since i've been teaching i haven't had any projects to edit), and i find it particularly difficult to come in and edit on someone else's project (it's my film, but the editor has set up the final cut pro project, organized all the video and audio files, music, etc., so it's often hard to locate something specific).

but man, it felt good to take my film into my own hands. and, at the same time, i wonder if doing so is dangerous. directors need editors. maybe if i had the budget money to hire an experienced editor, i would feel like i could do that. but i think i'm going to have to keep a tight leash on the editor because, while he's got innate talent and good instincts, he falters on the basics sometimes.

i hate computers

2005-09-08T07:03:00.000-07:00

no, i don't. i like them. i'm a bit of a tech geek, actually. not enough of one to put together and program computers on my own, but enough to know how to operate my system pretty well. a low level power-user, i suppose.

but the edit systems are driving me crazy. we're editing the film on final cut pro, which i love. the editor, a heavily tech-savvy student, is shuttling back and forth between the department's HD edit suite, which isn't always available, and a borrowed powerbook, using a 200 GB external drive to carry the foootage and the cut.

but the external drive keeps losing its connection with the various computers on which he's editing, so the footage won't show up, and the projects won't show up, and the drive asks to be reformatted (i.e., delete everything on it!).

so, the problem is likely solvable (is that a word?) -- but the need to solve it is creating problematic delays.

Ho hum Friday

2005-09-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

I'm talking to my writing students on Monday about theme. I have found one of the things missing from undergrad writing student work is any real sense of what their stories are about, and a corresponding inability to tie everything together. Now, admittedly, a lot of that stuff will come together in rewrites (if they every get to that point). But the point needs to be made.

They have three scripts I assigned them to read (some of you may remember me soliciting advice on which scripts to use back in April, I think (lazy alert: I'm not going to go look up the post right now). We already talked about theme in class, and now they're supposed to tell me in class what the theme of each script is, and they're supposed to back it up with evidence from the script (characters, plots, dialogue, etc.)

So my prep for this class session is to review the scripts and do the same thing myself. But I'm just struggling today and not feeling like doing it. So I've done a little bit to spur discussion, but I'm relying (naively, I imagine) that some of them will be prepared enough to really discuss this.

That's probably a stupid thing to do. But, whatever. I am getting much better at winging it in class when it comes to creative material.

Plus, I'm supposed to meet with the editor of the film to review some more scenes today, and my mind is on that (I always get uptight, in part because he's a student and there's some inexperience at play there, but also in part because the footage only works if I shot it well. So ultimately, if it isn't working, it's all on me).

In other news: I submitted my application to the department chair today for a summer sabbatical. She had advised me not to submit this year because, she said, she was told they're not looking to give them to 2nd year faculty right now. But, upon some other advice, I decided to go ahead and apply. I'm basically asking to be paid while I work on a new screenplay this summer (instead of teaching, which is far from guaranteed because of low enrollment these days). It only took me a few hours to put together the application.

I have no idea what my chances are. Creative work isn't too well understood or esteemed in academia, so I don't imagine they'll feel they need to pay me to do it. People tend to think creative writing is without pressure. And while I used to be able to write in any circumstance, lately I've found that it's very difficult to concentrate on a work with constant interruptions. Having three kids makes this hard at home. At school, my creative energy is constantly diverted to classes, students, and other tasks. So I really could use the sabbatical to work on this. And an extra 20% of my regular salary would be nice for the summer. As things stand now, summer pay is the only way I seem to be able to save any money.

A good day for blogging

2005-08-28T11:22:00.000-07:00

Sunday seems like my best blogging day. After church, we come home and either everyone naps or almost everyone does. And since I never nap, I have a little quiet time. The two eldest kids are not napping right now, but they're engaged in some kind of fantasy game, which involves creating a fort behind a chair in the corner of the living room. As long as they don't awake my napping spouse, I am encouraging this behavior (I would anyway, because I like it when they have active imaginations).

So, I SHOULD be using this time to prep for tomorrow's classes. Just a little review. I'll do it in a few minutes, when I finish this post.

Finally watched the Brad Pitt-starring Troy. I've had the Netflix flick for three weeks (thank God they invented Netflix), since before I finished shooting the film. I wasn't in the mood for it the past few times I had time to watch a movie. And at two hours and forty-five minutes, it's a huge commitment. And I just knew it was going to be this slow-moving 'epic' that would bore the hell out of me.

So, it wasn't that bad. It just wasn't remarkable. Brad Pitt was suitably introspective as the warrior Achilles, who wants to be remembered forever. But his looks and his manner of speech made him seem an anachronism in this film. He was doing the faux British 'I'm in a movie with a bunch of foreigners who all have British accents so I guess I have to, too' accent. And he only does a so-so job with it. I actually think Pitt is a pretty decent actor who has taken some really offbeat roles. But he just didn't do it for me here.

The idea that Paris, played by Orlando Bloom, could start this mess by stealing a king's wife, and that NO ONE would be all that upset about this? That struck me as odd. They showed his brother get upset, but really no one seemed too bothered by it, especially, ya know, the soldiers who were all going to fight because of his inability to fall for a single woman.

Maybe I missed the scenes of discontent among the soldiers. I admit, I waa doing other things while I was watching.

Film Update: I am supposed to see a chunk of edited footage on Monday afternoon. The editor told me he was working towards having this 'chunk' done, though I don't know how much that is. I am hopeful for good things. I need to be hopeful, because I don't have time to start editing this myself right now, and if I end up feeling like I can't trust the editor (who is, admittedly, a student), then I will have to do just that.

Mild but pleasant surprise, as far as nerd/geek/dork tests go.

2005-08-27T15:52:00.000-07:00

Modern, Cool Nerd
60% Nerd, 65% Geek, 43% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used
to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a
pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world
that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and
geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very
least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent,
knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing
computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one
you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one
up there, winning the million bucks)!

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid

First week of classes...

2005-08-25T18:15:00.000-07:00

...is over, and I survived. It feels like we're in week three or four already. I think I'm generally past the jitters I had when I arrived here last year. I'm not as uptight about walking into class and depending on my abilities to lead the students in a discussion. This is, in part, based on trusting my abilities, and the other part is that I just don't think the students are smart enough to know when I'm BS-ing while I process something and try to figure out what I'm going to say.

The film is, I hope, going well. The editor, a student (with some real talent as an editor, not so much for being on time to meetings or returning phone calls), says he will have a chunk to show me on Monday. I'm going to make my graduate postproduction students sync up all the digitally-recorded audio with the HD footage (we used a new digital recording system that didn't have timecode slaved to the camera, so we have to sync to the slate! I feel like I'm back in my film editing days from film school.

Only, you know, now I'm not the assistant editor having to sync up all the lousy footage from someone's bad student film.

Anyway, we're still shooting for Sundance's late deadline (September 30th) with at least a good rough cut. I'll know Monday afternoon if we're being realitic. We'll see.

What else is new... hm... I'm getting up every morning at 0-dark:30 because my daughter started school last week. So I take her and then go into the office, where I dawdle for a while til the coffee is ready and I can finish waking up. So I'm exhausted at night, but it does feel good to be on a semi-regular schedule again.

Damn, my blog is getting so boring. I have nothing interesting to say! Like you really want to read about what time I get up in the morning. Next thing you know I'll be chronicling how many bottles of water I drank and what I ate for lunch.

Eight and nothing, if you must know.

New (School) Year's Resolution: get something of a life, write about that.

Newbie No Longer

2005-08-20T20:23:00.000-07:00

Just a quick random thought -- I was reading New Kid's blog (see my blogroll at right, I'm too lazy to link it, sorry) -- and she was talking about not being a newbie anymore.

As much as I enjoyed being the new guy and getting all the attention last year, I'm really happy to be just one of the faculty now, that the students know me and like me. Especially now that there is another 'new guy' in the department. It's nice for someone else to come to ME for advice.

Weird thing about New Guy is that he did his B.A. and M.A. here before he went elsewhere to do the PhD. So, really, he knows more about this place than I do. When we left the office yesterday to head to another building for the all-university-faculty meeting, I had no idea where we were going (still, after a year!) and he knew exactly where to go.

But in terms of the depsrtment, the personalities, the tenure stuff, I've got more info than him, so he actually asks me questions.

And the best part: he's a nice guy, pretty cool, and a huge film buff. But he's a theory-guy, not a filmmaker, so I don't feel any pressure or competition. I think we'll get along well.

Awkward Silence

2005-08-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to say. I mean, I have stuff to say, but some things are best kept private. So I'm not saying that stuff.

Postproduction is just getting started, and I'm stressed about that. And classes start Monday, and I'm stressed about that. Having a fight with my wife about amount of time I spend on work vs. family, and the stress from that kinda trumps everything else. I can't work when my personal life is not functioning properly.

Wait, didn't I say I was going to keep that private?

What can I say -- I've been busy!

2005-08-17T20:21:00.000-07:00

Really busy. Classes start next week, and after the film ended, I took off for a week. Got back and had to get into the whole class prep thing. One new class, two heavily revised. Then one of those gets cancelled for technology reasons (we weren't able to get the equipment to teach it). It is replaced with a graduate seminar. My first grad course as a prof.

I'm doing that whole "need to prep, want to surf the internet, no I really need to review the texts, well maybe after reading this one thing" thing. So, not getting much done. Almost have my syllabi ready. For my directing course, I'm team teaching a section with a senior acting class from the theater department. So we met today and decided to just take the first few sessions as they come. In other words, no great need to prep. Which makes me nervous, but hey, one less thing to prep, right?

In my screenwriting course, I'm going to start out the semester with less lecture and more creative writing exercises. There's a good learning-oriented reason for that, but it also gives me less prep.

In my grad seminar, it's all about postproduction. And you'll recall I just shot this feature film... so guess what my grad students are going to be editing? Yes, we'll be exploring the role of the editor in working with a director. I need to do some research on that, but I'm being lazy. But really, we're going to do it as an extended role-play, with them acting as editor and me acting as (what else) director, so they have to understand my vision and then cut the film (and hopefully bring their own creativity to it).

Speaking of the film: I find out, while I'm out of town, that my co-writer actually BASED THE LEAD CHARACTER ON A REAL PERSON AND NEVER TOLD ME! Yes, I am shouting. He also changed the name by only one letter. Now, the real person was a crazy loon, possibly also homeless (which is why, you know, he made for such an interesting character)... and really, very little of the character in the film was actually based on him. At the most, you could say he 'inspired' our character. But still, we just HAVE to change the name now, to be careful. And the character's name is in the film's title, and is also part of the web address, and on the cast and crew shirts. Hell, this just pissed me off, if you can't tell.

But, you know, it'll probably all work out okay. Nevertheless, I just can't believe that someone wouldn't know that was a significant detail and needed to be addressed. Maybe I've been involved with the film industry so long I just assume people will know that. But I ask you, those of you who go to movies but don't make them, is this a reasonable assumption on my part, or should I have asked this specific question? (I know I SHOULD have, but is it reasonable to assume someone would mention this fact?)

As my father used to say, this too shall pass.

Festivals

2005-08-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

Did a little research tonight and found that several major fests have deadlines in early and late fall. So if we are going to have a shot at Sundance, for example, we have only until Sept 30th to get a rough cut done. I don't know if that's realistic, but I plan to try.

I will be away for a week, so probably no blogging because I won't have good access while I'm away.

It is finished....

2005-08-03T16:19:00.000-07:00

We wrapped at 4:30pm in the afternoon today, Wednesday, August 3rd. Principal photography is complete. There were hugs and applause all around, but I admit it was a little anti-climactic -- I just felt like I didn't know what to do with myself.

But it was good -- the footage is good, and I am pretty sure we will be pleased in post. Wrap party tonight!

The Martini

2005-08-02T20:08:00.000-07:00

The martini is Hollywood parlance for the final shot. Tomorrow, we will finish principal photography on my first feature film, and I can't believe it is already over, or that I am so tired. It's not really physical exhaustion. I AM physically tired, of course -- very tired.

But my primary exhaustion is mental. A director has to make so many decisions -- nearly every decision. And working with students, a director needs to be even more vigilant, because they have enthusiasm, but do not always understand their roles or your vision (but then, no one really does understand that vision like the director does).

I have rushed when I wish I had demanded more time, and I question the coverage I have on many scenes. On the other hand, there is genuinely funny and touching material here, not only in the writing, but from what I've seen of the dailies, much of it is showing up on screen, enhanced by terrific, heartfelt, and hilarious performances.

I am excited and apprehensive about postproduction. I don't know what to think. I don't know how I will have the proper time to edit this beast. But I really think, having seen some of the footage edited together in rough form by one of my student editors, that we have something special on our hands here.

Almost Done

2005-07-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

We had a scheduled short day today. We were only supposed to go until noon, and we ended up finishing even earlier than that. It's a good thing, too, because the lead actress was dehydrated and lightheaded last night, and we were shooting out in the heat today.

Only three days left -- we shoot until Wednesday of next week, and then we're DONE. I can't believe we're so close to the end.

The students working on postproduction edited some footage together for us, and it was great to see it coming all together. One of the student-editors began to intercut footage that wasn't intended to be intercut -- and it worked.

Performances have been fantastic. I'm not exaggerating. The actors are THAT good. I just hope my directing is worthy of all they've done.

too tired

2005-07-26T21:48:00.000-07:00

i have been too tired to blog. great material, finally got to see some footage tonight and am pretty happy with it. really funny stuff, but i am too tired right now to write about it. i have a 'sun headache' from shooting all morning on the beach. i will try to blog more about the shoot this weekend.

DP Discussion

2005-07-18T20:07:00.000-07:00

Never got around to having the discussion with the DP about adjusting his style, but the message must've sunk in, because -- FOR THE MOST PART -- we moved quicker today. We still shot 13 hours, and we still got WAY behind, but geenerally speaking lighting and camera weren't behind all day. Many times they finished their set-up before costume and makeup had gotten the actors ready (and then they tweaked forever AFTER actors werte ready -- so they made up for the earliness).

Making a movie is hard work.

2005-07-17T18:58:00.000-07:00

Don't let anyone tell you differently. It's hard. It's sometimes downright grueling. I'm exhausted, and we've only been shooting for three days.

It's going well -- good footage, great performances. So much of directing, I am learning day by day, is the decisions that were made BEFORE production. And a lot of it is keeping your cool under pressure.

The main pressure right now is that the DP wants to light this film like it's a normal feature and not a rough-looking mock documentary. It's becoming something of a struggle, and one of the actors talked about it with me tonight as well. So I'm going to have to address this (again) on Monday morning.

And so it begins

2005-07-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

Actually, it begins tomorrow. But the actors are now here -- on their way from various airports as I type. I'm a little nervous about meeting them, about directing them. The day will be quite hectic because of all that has to happen today, and I am concerned not to tire them out too much. It's going to be a whirlwind day for them.

I'm excited, nervous, worried, elated. It's going to be fun and exhilirating at times; depressing and frustrating at other times. Making a movie is an exercise in compromise. At every turn, you have to be fully aware that compromises are going to be necessary; the trick is knowing which ones you can give in on and which ones you have to fight against.

More as time permits (it maybe a week or more before I log on again!)

All Fun and Games

2005-07-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

AAP reminded me in the comments of my last post to try to remember to have a little fun while shooting the film. And he or she is right. I grouse a lot about my fears, anxieties, and concerns on here (what else is a blog for?), but I'm also really looking forward to this process. I question my own abilities. Not as a writer, or even with getting the performances I want. But when it comes to shot selection, I don't give it enough attention, and I wonder if I have what it takes. I'm worried about it.

This kind of film -- without going into specific details -- I can get away with not pre-planning the shots. But in order to maintain a certain style here, I'm kind of limited. Those limitations work since we're on a low budget and a tight schedule -- but still, I'm feeling limited and concerned.

The actors get here on Wednesday, which should be a hectic but exciting day. The production design team is doing some really nice work on costumes and some of the crazier props we need. So I am feeling pretty good overall.

that sense of dread...

2005-07-10T19:16:00.000-07:00

Profgrrrrl posted about her sense of dread regarding an upcoming deadline. The term applies equally to how I feel going into these last few days before production officially begins. It seems like there's just so much to do. I'm longing for a beer and a nice cigar, but I don't have the time.

I don't have any great details to share at the moment; it's just a growing sense of dread about everything to come, including my own shortcomings.

First Shots

2005-07-09T19:29:00.000-07:00

Today was our first day of shooting. This wasn't on the official schedule; we had an actor in town, needed to get two shots with him, and basically did an unofficial shoot.

Glad we did an easy day. We have a lot to learn. Students didn't know what they were doing. Equipment was left behind. The DP gave us a list of what he'd need and then asked for things that weren't on the list. We didn't even have headphones for audio.

Fortunately, we only had to get two or three shots. It took us five-and-a-half hours to GET those shots, but I digress.

We don't shoot again until Thursday. Producer plans to take the reins on equipment and on drilling the students on set-up of equipment. I am hopeful we'll be in better shape on things. It was good to have a day like this to measure our inadequacies and know what we need to fix before things get crazy.

Department Head Meeting

2005-07-08T18:48:00.000-07:00

Started our big final meeting with all department heads today to review the script and make sure everyone knows what they need to know. We actually only made it through half the script before we had to break for some other meetings.

We have approval on most locations now, but there are a few still outstanding.

Casting is nearly complete.

Went to a large bargain basement-type place with production designers and costumer to get some outfits for the actors/characters. Huge place with lots of old/secondhand clothes. The characters are pretty quirky, so this kind of place is perfect. We found some awful stuff -- a shopping cart full of stuff for which we paid all of six dollars.

I have to say -- the production design team is doing really great work. I'm really pleased with the gusto they have for their work. There's still lots to do, but generally, I feel pretty good about where things are in terms of costumes, sets, etc.

We actually have our first shooting day tomorrow. The shoot officially begins next Thursday, but ac actor we wanted to use can only do the shoot on Saturday, and since we don't have him interacting with any of the other actors, it works out to just shoot his scene now. And it'll function as a sort of test-case/dry-run for the students. It's an easy day, just two or three set-ups, one actor, and some room for him to improv a little. I'm not really nervous, but I probably should be. And I should be working on my shot list, but I haven't picked it up for two days.

I'll be nervous the day all the lead actors arrive. Lots to do that day.

Getting started...

2005-07-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

Today was the first 'class' meeting with students who will work on the film for credit (filling most crew roles). They will be a real wild-card, but I appreciate their enthusiasm.

On the depressing side, I awoke with a serious 'crick' in my neck -- majorly stiff, very painful.

Still Learning...

2005-07-04T21:17:00.000-07:00

So I just realized I can post pictures right through Blogger (to paraphrase Homer Simpson: "and here I am using Flickr like a sucker!")

Again, I have nothing new to post. So this picture is kind of random. I did see Batman Begins this week, so you get a picture of Batman (FYI, I really enjoyed it - probably the best Batman flick so far, but I still have an affectionate place in my heart for Tim Burton's two attempts, primarily because of his acute sense of visual style).

I also saw Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (I hate dollar theaters -- I like the cheap part, but I hate the "feet sticking to the floor" part). Regarding the Guide, I enjoyed it. It captured Douglas Adams's sense of style and wit (and expecially his affectionate and sometimes biting frustration with bureacracy) about life, the universe, and everything. The additions and changes, some to update and some to flesh out a very wordy and not altogether visual story (such as the "point of view gun"), kept to the spirit of the original. The inclusion of several references to the old BBC television version of the novel were nice (the music, the casting of the original Arthur Dent in a cameo, and the appearance of the old Marvin the Paranoid Android in a queue on the Vogon planet).

God, I am such a geek. I enjoyed it, in a silly and fun way. It's nothing like enjoying the novel. But it was fine. Sam Rockwell's performance as Zaphod Beeblebrox was really terrifically funny and stupid and saved the film in a lot of cases.

Note: I've edited this post five times since I wrote it and published it. Proof-positive I shouldn't blog this late at night. I feel an urge to blog, but I have little worth saying at this point. I've been lost in private thoughts this weekend. I've been trying to create some kind of shot list for my film (I accidentally typed 'shit list' there for a moment, so that might be quite telling, and it at least describes how I feel about my directing talent at the moment).

I've worked my way through roughly 1/5th of the script. Plenty still to go, but I tire out creatively pretty quickly. Another geeky reference here, but I remember when I used to read comics as a kid, and Marvel Comics started publishing the "Marvel Universe," which was a series of reference guides to their heroes. So under each character, like SpiderMan, for example, they'd list his alias, his powers, and his weaknesses. And it seemed like, for each character, they way they'd describe that person's limits was to say that "toxins built up in his blood." In other words, XYZ hero can lift 100 tons, but he can only carry out that level lof strength for a few hours "before toxins develop in his blood to tire him out."

So, all that to say, I can only work creatively for a very short time before creative toxins develop in my blood, forcing me to rest. Or my kids need me to make lunch. One or the other.

Locations 3: Jesus Mural

2005-07-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

Jesus Mural
Originally uploaded by terminalmfa.

Can you tell murals are a theme here? There are some great Jesus murals all around the city. This one I like because the painting itself is just a little amateurish and thus slightly comical.

Locations 2: Wheelbarrow Mural

2005-07-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

Another Mural
Originally uploaded by terminalmfa.

I like this mural as a backdrop because it's just kind of a little 'off.'

Locations

2005-07-03T20:41:00.000-07:00

The "Fish" House
Originally uploaded by terminalmfa.

I decided to configure a flickr account and realized I had no pictures to share. So depressing. So I decided to blog a few location photos for the upcoming film. I don't know how to do these all in one post, so there will be three or four separate posts.

This one we affectionately call the "fish" house. Backdrop for a scene on a sidewalk. Someone's house, all painted like an ocean scene. The only thing missing is Nemo himself.

An MFA *is* a Terminal Degree

Well then...

Without Apologies

Starting the spring

Signs of the Apocalypse?

End of the Fall

Rejection

Needy Students

Teaching vs. Research

Long Time Away

SORRY SORRY SORRY

Adding to the Festival Entry List

Festivals, by the numbers (REPOST)

Pseudonymous Blogging

Good news!

Festivals, by the numbers (REPOST)

agent update

Festivals, by the numbers (REPOST)

Weekend Plans

Writing, Fest Update

Are You Watching The Office?

Representin'

Agent News

Festivals, by the numbers

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

SXSW

Writing for the market?

How do you respond to rejection?

I hate writing...

FWIW...

Darkness Descends

BlogRoll Update

Festival Frustration

Petty Grammar News

Delurk, you slackers!

Hoping for SXSW

And so it begins...

Festivals and Difficult Decisions

Break Tally

I'm back

the damn waiting...

Writing is Rewriting?

FALL 2005 Semester is History

My Newest Little Reader

Snow Day!

Nice Moment

CLASSES ARE OVER!

Rewriting Update

So, this came out of the blue...

Slamdance, too

Sundance News

To Do List

I am an idiot

Why?

Demographics

That time of the semester...

With apologies to Blogger...

Stupid &%$#@ Blogger

Friday

"Real" writing

Locking Picture

Kids are cute

Students and a Film Update

getting caught up

sundance and beyond

done

weird feelings

Jury Duty

Crap

Fifth Sentence Meme

updates

some more (almost) good news

Reactions

Sundance

capitals

getting my hands dirty

i hate computers

Ho hum Friday

A good day for blogging

Mild but pleasant surprise, as far as nerd/geek/dork tests go.

An MFA is a Terminal Degree