So Ready For A Break...

Final exams next week, major projects coming in tomorrow, so I'll probably grading all weekend so I can work next week on spring classes -- stressed about that because two of the three are new to me. Stuff I mostly know, but haven't taught before. All while I also need to be doing pre-production on my next film. So things are hectic, but I am going to take a week or two off for the holiday and try to relax a little.

Had a meeting today in the closest big city, about two hours away, with my producer. We were meeting with an experienced producer who has a friendly relationship with the university... just seeking advice and hoping he might be interested in what we are doing. The lunch went well, and I think he is (slightly) interested, but it didn't give us a whole lot of new information. Stuff we new already or that really didn't apply to us because of the small scope of our project.

But it was a good roadtrip for the day, good to spend quality time with my producer, who is a new friend and colleague on faculty who I've really connected with. We got to talk about departmental politics, as well as personal stuff like family and etc.

I came home just feeling tired and run down -- not just physically, but emotionally too, though I can't say why. I think it's just the mountain of work I know is ahead, combined with the ant problem in the pantry when I got home. Though that's about solved now, it still meant putting all the food back in, which was just tiring at the end of a long day...

I'm so tired, I'm having trouble coming up with anything fruitful or interesting to say on here at the moment. I've been reading all the wonderful introspective blogs I usually read, and I feel like I'm barely scratching the surface here most days. Just cataloging incidents and events.

I'm also preparing for my first year tenure review, which is stressful. I haven't done anything yet; it's only been one semester. They know this of course, but this meeting will set the tone and structure for the rest of them, and I'm supposed to develop a five year plan for teaching, research (which is creative work for me), publication (er, how do I interpret this for me? distribution? film festival invitations?), and etc. Just getting this all on paper is challenging, and I'm never satisfied with this kind of document; I never feel like it really represents who I am and what I am all about. It's just a collection of words on paper, and I'm not yet convinced that the powers that be outside my department (dean, provost) understand how what I do is tenurable on its own merit, without me having to write scholarly articles (which, even if I was inclined to do, I'm not really equipped to do -- it's just not my thang, if you know what I mean. Since that meeting is not long after spring semester starts, I'm obsessing about it as well.