Thursday, December 09, 2004

So Ready For A Break...

Final exams next week, major projects coming in tomorrow, so I'll probably grading all weekend so I can work next week on spring classes -- stressed about that because two of the three are new to me. Stuff I mostly know, but haven't taught before. All while I also need to be doing pre-production on my next film. So things are hectic, but I am going to take a week or two off for the holiday and try to relax a little.

Had a meeting today in the closest big city, about two hours away, with my producer. We were meeting with an experienced producer who has a friendly relationship with the university... just seeking advice and hoping he might be interested in what we are doing. The lunch went well, and I think he is (slightly) interested, but it didn't give us a whole lot of new information. Stuff we new already or that really didn't apply to us because of the small scope of our project.

But it was a good roadtrip for the day, good to spend quality time with my producer, who is a new friend and colleague on faculty who I've really connected with. We got to talk about departmental politics, as well as personal stuff like family and etc.

I came home just feeling tired and run down -- not just physically, but emotionally too, though I can't say why. I think it's just the mountain of work I know is ahead, combined with the ant problem in the pantry when I got home. Though that's about solved now, it still meant putting all the food back in, which was just tiring at the end of a long day...

I'm so tired, I'm having trouble coming up with anything fruitful or interesting to say on here at the moment. I've been reading all the wonderful introspective blogs I usually read, and I feel like I'm barely scratching the surface here most days. Just cataloging incidents and events.

I'm also preparing for my first year tenure review, which is stressful. I haven't done anything yet; it's only been one semester. They know this of course, but this meeting will set the tone and structure for the rest of them, and I'm supposed to develop a five year plan for teaching, research (which is creative work for me), publication (er, how do I interpret this for me? distribution? film festival invitations?), and etc. Just getting this all on paper is challenging, and I'm never satisfied with this kind of document; I never feel like it really represents who I am and what I am all about. It's just a collection of words on paper, and I'm not yet convinced that the powers that be outside my department (dean, provost) understand how what I do is tenurable on its own merit, without me having to write scholarly articles (which, even if I was inclined to do, I'm not really equipped to do -- it's just not my thang, if you know what I mean. Since that meeting is not long after spring semester starts, I'm obsessing about it as well.


At 11:51 AM, Blogger chutry said...

Good luck, FG, on both your grading and your film production stuff. I've been surfing around on blogs all morning in order to avoid working on my own grading.


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