weird feelings

so the rough cut of the film is almost done. the cutting itself is actually done. sound is still VERY temp, but the film looks and sounds good enough to submit as a 'rough cut' submission. and we're going to fed-ex it tomorrow to sundance. and next week i am going to send it to slamdance, too.

and i'm pretty sure the film is good. but i have no clue right now. and i've been thinking all along -- this is a good film, people will like this film. but right now, i don't know.

the editor asked me what i thought about our chances at sundance. i had no answer. of course it's a ridiculous longshot. we know no one and don't have major stars. we have a ridiculously small budget and didn't shoot on film. so there's a lot working against us.

and i don't want to get my hopes up. i really don't. but i say that all the time, and i always end up doing it anyway.

i realize, of course, that sundance is just one festival. it's not the whole world. but it is sundance. i guess getting that email or phone call that i've gotten into sundance would validate my career on a level i can't imagine.

so i'm kind of all over the map today. i just feel glad about the film nearing completion, but torn about whhat to expect. i do get my hopes up, but i also get really down on myself and have come to expect rejection, because it comes so much and so often in this business.